For those of you not on the list last year, here is a little
Milo story for the season.
It really happened!
Really!
I took Milo to the department store to meet Santa today!
SANTA: So what would you like for Christmas, Milo?
MILO: Some balls.
SANTA: Didn't I give you balls last Christmas, Milo?
MILO: Yes. Nice balls. I need MORE balls, Santa.
SANTA: And why is that, Milo?
MILO: Because I only have a few balls.
SANTA: I think you have more than a few balls, Milo.
MILO: No, I only have 3 or 4, Santa. Really!
SANTA: Are you sure, Milo?
MILO: Well, maybe I have a few more. I'm a dog, Santa. I can't count too well.
SANTA: Ok, what kind of ball would you like this Christmas, Milo?
MILO: BALLS, Santa....
SANTA: Ok, Milo, what kind of balls?
MILO: Well, first, I need 4 new tennis balls. One for upstairs, and another for upstairs so when I get it good and squishy, mom will have another one to throw for me, and one for downstairs and another for downstairs for when that one get squishy, and two for the deck outside, and two more, one for when it goes behind the refrigerator and another for when it gets caught under the couch, and one for when it goes in the toilet, and two for when...
SANTA: Whoa, Milo! I thought you said 4 balls?
MILO: I meant 12, Santa.
SANTA: And I suppose you would like me to bring your Mom & Dad balls for Christmas too, Milo?
MILO: That would be nice, Santa. See, Mom really likes balls. She'd play all day if I let her. All I have to do is whine for 10 or 20 minutes or so and she yells, "ok,ok, bring the damn ball to me". Then she throws it and throws it. She just loves to play! Even when she's on the phone or even when I bring it to her when she's on the toilet. And Dad too! He always says something like, "Milo, stop bothering me! GO AWAY..Go lie down...God! Get that wet beard off of my good pants, DAMN IT.... GO AWAY!.....G'GO FIND YOUR TENNIS BALL!" He always asks me 'cuz he loves to play, too. Then he throws it and throws it! Even when they're in bed at night wrestling, I just bring the ball right up there and drop it on mom's back, and she yells...
SANTA: You know, Milo, Santa thinks you're a pretty lucky Bouvier.
MILO: Yeh, I know, Santa. My Mom & Dad really love me. They feed me, they hug me, they walk me, they take me to the beach and throw my green ball. I also need a new green ball, and an orange hockey ball, and my soft ball has a hole and...
P.S. Santa gave Milo many new balls for Christmas, and
a 1 year's prescription for Prozac.
My favorite things: by Milo (Woof!)
1.Balls 2.Food 3.Mom....no,
1.Balls 2.Mom 3.Food...no,
1.Balls 2.Dad 3.Food 4.Mom...no...
1.White Ball 2.Tennis Ball 3.Green Ball 4.Softball 5. Red Ball...
Judy Singer, Cambridge, MA
©1997 - Judy Singer. All Rights are Reserved.