Welcome to Eloise's homepage

This is Ellie's homepage. Eloise: Statesman, Orator, Brain Surgeon, Weight Loss Expert, Jurist.... born on February 14, 1985, Eloise is the light of my life and the apple of my eye.

Eloise started out having a hard life. Abused by her mean old Mom, Ell was routinely thrown down the cellar stairs, stuck in the freezer and forced to take bathes where she would weigh 500 pounds and stink. Fortunately, her wonderful Dad took her under his protection and at last she feels safe, loved and wanted. It isn't easy coming from not one, but TWO broken homes. After brand new Mom left, poor Ell (and the rest of the girls) never heard from her again.

Eloise is just the perfect child. A little opininated, perhaps, but I did bring her up to assert her feelings and to not let anyone ever use her as a doormat. Ell is the daughter that the Jeep might have grow up to be, had I been allowed to be part of her life.

Now Ell lives with Margaret, Cuddles, Gizmo and Val... one big happy family. Well, as happy as you can expect things to be with 5 girls running around the house! Here's a picture of Ell standing in the corner..probably because she was fighting with her Sister. The girls are very competative.

Doctor Ell runs a World famous brain surgery and weight loss Clinc. For peanuts, she can remove 25 pounds of ugly fat from any Patient simply by cutting off their head with a rusty saw. In fact, it seems that *all* of Doctor Ell's prognoses involve the removal of one's head with a rusty saw. Well,....... in any case, the Doctor assures us that you will feel no pain during this procedure. This is because just before the surgery, Nurse Margaret will bop you on the head with a hammer. However, to distract your attention from the hammer, she steps on your toes first. That's quite a system these ladies have cooked up, no?

Doctor Ell is a member in good standing of the Ellie Elephant Board of Certified Brain Surgeons and Weight Loss Experts and can provide references and testimonials from several satisfied and fully cured former Patients. Think Governor Kitzhaber was always a Ditz? No way.... at least not before he entered Dr. Ell's comprehensive 100 point program, he wasn't.

Don't wait any longer. Get the mental health and weight loss results you've always wanted! Call 555-NO HEAD right away!

To be continued......

If you have comments or suggestions, please E-mail me at

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Last modified November 11,1997
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