Top Six Movies of Summer 1997, According to Q

6. Conspiracy Theory. Things blow up, go boom. Ho-hum. I suppose it might be entertaining to retarded sub-adults who have nothing better to do with their lives. Of course, that describes most of the human population, so this movie will undoubtably be extremely popular.
5. MIB. The movie that sets back space exploration and alien contact by another hundred years. You have to admire the ingenuity of the American military-entertainment complexity in brainwashing the sheep of the world into believing that aliens are either fictitious or evil.
4. Spawn. Where else can you see such a laugh-riot? I have never enjoyed myself so much as here, laughing at the antics of the ridiculous humans using violence to bring their world to the side of Good, not to mention their indescribably moronic ideas about the afterlife.
3. The Fifth Element. I laughed, I cried, I set the theater in flames for the temerity of enjoying this movie. Please -- is the movie watching public's taste *this* low? Forget I asked that -- compared to "Lost World", this is a cinematic gem.
2. Contact. Finally, movie with a teensy weensy bit of brain. Hmm... perhaps I'm giving too much credit here -- it's impossible to imagine humans with brains. They certainly never appear to use them. Well, I suppose for humans this movie could be considered intelligent.
1. Austin Powers, Man of Mystery. Fembots? Frozen cats? Bad teeth? Velvet lounging suits? Obviously a movie of high sophistication. The best ironic satire produced in eons.

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