Top Six Q Answering Machine Messages

6. "Beep! This is Q. Sorry, I'm not in right now and can't take your call. Please leave your name, IQ and species at the sound of the beep."
5. "Hello. You've reached the 24 hour Picard hotline. Currently, the good captain is reading a book while thinking about moi. Anal sex with a chance of Grey Poupon predicted for tonight."
4. "Q's Hot Tubs, Spas and Supernatural Events. Please leave a message."
3. "Thank you for your call. As I am omniscient, I am already aware of the purpose of your call and am deliberately avoiding you. Please leave groveling apologies for your inadequacy at the sound of the beep, and I *might* return your call."
2. "Hi! You've reached the home of Q, Q and adorable little baby Q. We'd love to take your call but we're too busy being cutesy. Ooh, aren't you such a cute little baby... yes, you are. Do a trick for the machine-- Beep!"
1. "If you are a starship captain, press 1. If you are an individual or species with a grudge to settle, press 2. If you are a fellow Q, press 3. All other categories, press 4."

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