Top Six Q Responses to Computer Technical Support Questions

6. If you're not intelligent enough to figure out the answer on the own, you're too underevolved to deserve to use our product.
5. The hardware only works if you plug your brain in first.
4. Sleep with me, and I'll consider fixing it.
3. I don't like the tone of your voice, so I'm turning you into a newt. Since newts can't use computers, I believe that also fixes whatever problem you were having. Ta ta.
2. Mortals. ::uttered in tone of complete disgust::
1. Give me one good reason why I should help you.

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