Top Six Reasons Why You Should Not Ask Q To Be "Santa" At The Mall

6. Well, it just wouldn't be a very bright idea. You don't want the local news station to do a story like 'THE SANTA DEMON FROM HELL, LIVE FROM LANCASTER MALL...'
5. He'd probably give candy canes to those who were bad. To those who were good, he'd probably say, "You make me sick..."
4. He'd insist that all the elves have their heads shaved and speak with an English accent.
3. He'd agree to do it on one condition; all the people at the mall would have to dress up as Q and wear funny hats.
2. He might club you with Aunt Martha's fruit cake.
1. He might say 'yes'. With thanks to Tybalt, whose twisted humor and fascination with toys (namely my new PalmPilot that I got for Christmas) provided this list.

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