Top Six Things Q Would Do If He Appeared On The X-Files

6. Pitch a fit when, after repeated attempts to put Mulder and Scully into suggestive situations, the duo *still* won't resolve their feelings for each other.
5. Have fun swapping partners: Mulder/Skinner and Q/Picard -- two tall ironic men and two bald men in charge; who can tell the difference?
4. Pitch second fit when Scully, as Guinevere, convinces King Arthur of her chastity, and Mulder, as Lancelot, faints at the sight of blood.
3. Give Mulder superpowers, impregnate Scully, sic a powerful force on the FBI agents, give the pair a guided tour of the afterlife and drop vague warnings... hell, it's all been done before, hasn't it?
2. Pitch third fit when Mulder, as Romeo, eschews the balcony in favor of using his cell phone to contact Scully (aka Juliet), and the agents resolve the situation by negotiating a landmark treaty between the Montagues and the Capulets.
1. Rename show to "The Q-Files".

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