Top Six Things Q Would Have Done If He Were Hamlet
6. Dropped Polonius into a black hole, turned Rosencrantz and
Guildenstern into performing bears, televised Claudius and
Gertrude first plotting to kill his father and then making love,
impregnated Ophelia with a little ueber-Q, and then gotten bored
and wandered off to find some other people to torment.
5. Known who was behind the damn curtain, and what Claudius was
*really* thinking and thus avoided the whole bloody mess.
4. Brought his father back to life.
3. Tormented Ophelia to her death, just like the original Hamlet --
but then tormented her in the afterlife as well.
2. Had sex with his uncle.*
1. Turned in kingdom for a refund and gotten a real life.
* Bear in mind that Patrick Stewart played Hamlet's uncle in one of
the adaptions for the screen.
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