Lance falls down.  The others are all staring at him.  Staring. 
"What, y'never saw a guy in a ren-ren-renaissance!  Rensseance! 
That's the word.  In a dress before?"

"Renaissance," Chris corrects him.  "And we've seen guys in
dresses, believe you me.  But most of them were more convincing."

Lance crawls out of the pile of his skirts and stands up.  He fixes
his garland carefully and shakes out his skirt and tightens his
bodice.  He's even got cleavage.  And makeup.  Standing up, he
looks like a damn good woman.  That's what they all said at the
Faire, anyway.  "You take that back!"

"Uh, no?  You're much more fun this way.  Besides, I like feisty
women."

Joey laughs and gathers Justin and JC in with his arms over their
shoulders.  "I don't think we're needed here anymore.  This is
gonna get really personal, really fast."

Lance smiles seductively at JC.  "Don't you think I look like a
woman?" he asks in a soft voice.

JC nods and says, "Baby, if Chris wouldn't kill me for it, I'd be
all over you."

"Hey!" Chris squawks.  "I wouldn't kill you!  Just, y'know, maim
you a little."

Lance frowns.  "What do you care?  You never do anything but make
fun of me and call me names anyway.  Even when I showed you my
dick.  You suck," he declares.  "You suck in the *bad* way!"  He
turns to follow Joey and JC out.

Justin raises his eyebrows at Chris.  "You never told *me* you saw
his dick."

"Just in passing," Chris says, "more's the pity."  He runs after
Lance, throwing himself at Lance's feet and wrapping himself around
Lance's calves.  "Don't leave me, oh beauteous love of my life!"

Lance trips and has to catch himself on the wall.  "Stop that!  I
can't breathe, you bitch."

"But you're leaving me!"

"You're evil.  Of course I'm leaving."

Chris pouts.  "I thought you liked evil."

"Evil like boning and corsets and thongs.  Not evil like you
trampling my fragile self-esteem into muck."  Lance tries to step
out of Chris's arms.  "Let go, I wanna go fuck."

"But I wanna fuck you!"

Lance bends over -- from the hips, not the waist because of the
corset -- and says, "You're a liar.  A big, mean liar."

"But I mean it," Chris says.  "You're cute.  You're easy.  I want
to have sex with you."

"And," Joey says, "he's in luuuuuuuve with you, Lance."

"Like!" Chris argues.  "Prolonged and vicious like!"

"Love," Joey says.  "He's stupid with it."

"Prolonged and vicious love?" Lance asks curiously.

"Like!" Chris protests.  "And, uh, yeah.  Prolonged as in
forever--"

"Since the lawsuit," Joey interprets.

"And vicious, 'cause, um.  You like snark and I'm kinda like that
anyway, and y'know.  Love hurts.  Love cuts like a knife."

Joey's regarding him with an amused smile.

Chris realizes what he said.  "Like!  Like cuts like a knife!  A
really sharp one, too.  Like those Ginsu things on TV."

Lance frowns.  "You said I was ugly.  I hate you.  I hate you more
because I really like you a lot and I wish that I didn't because
then maybe you'd like me because you only like people who don't
like you because you're very contrary and annoying and that's okay
because I like my men being pissy bitches."

Chris tries to puzzle through this and ends up with a wrinkled
forehead.  "So does that mean that you'll fuck me if we both get
drunker?"

"No, because then my dick won't work.  I have one, it's under
here."  Lance grabs his skirts and hoists them way up so Chris can
see.

"Lance?" Chris asks.

"What?" Lance asks, voice all muffled in his skirts.

"Just so you know, I think you have an absolutely gorgeous cock."

"Oh.  Um.  Doesn't it look like other cocks?"

"Nope.  Much more magically delicious."

Joey drags the others out.  Justin's voice trails after them, "But
what makes a cock more magically delicious?"

Lance drops his skirt and looks at Chris.  "Wanna fuck?"

Chris rolls his eyes, but nods fast.  "Uh-huh.  That's what I'm
saying.  Fuck!"

"'kay."  Lance turns around and walks back into the room.  "Couch
or bed?" he asks as he starts untying the knots of his bodice.

"Bed."  Chris follows Lance, practically salivating.

"Hmm."  Lance drifts in that direction, kicking off his soft shoes
as he goes.  "Here, put this over there."  He hands Chris his
garland.

"Can I wear it during?"

"The flower thing?"

"Yep.  That."

"I think it'll fall off," Lance says, frowning.  "You wanna wear my
bodice instead?"

"No.  That's yours.  You should wear it.  Along with the skirts. 
I think it'll be sexy doing you in all that cloth."

"I can't breathe, though.  I won't be able to do things to blow
your mind, if I can't bend right," Lance says.  He also takes the
garland back and carefully settles it on Chris's head.

"Oh.  Yeah, good point."

"But, um.  If you didn't *want* me to do anything..." Lance
suggest, trying not to visibly drool at the idea.

Chris brightens.  "Really?  We can do that?"

Lance crawls onto the bed on his hands and knees.  "C'mon, do it
already."

"Turn over, on your back," Chris says, and, when Lance does, flips
up Lance's skirts and kneels between them.  "God, you're gorgeous,"
he says, caressing Lance's thighs.

Lance frowns.  "I'm a boy.  Fuck me."

"Greedy, demanding fuck," Chris says affectionately, before
whipping his dick out, then leaning in to bare Lance's bottom.

Lance whimpers.  "That hurts," he complains as Chris tries to tilt
his hips up.  "The boning hurts me."  Chris looks really confused
until Lance makes him feel the hard parts in the bodice.

Chris frowns, then puts his dick away.  He gets down low and sucks
Lance's dick in.

Lance scrambles away.  "What the hell?"

"I'm sexing you up!" Chris says.

"I want fucking," Lance declares, and then he pouts.

"How'm I supposed to fuck you if the corset thingy's killing you?"

"I want a pillow.  For my ass."

"Okay.  I can do that."  Chris gets up and pulls a pillow from the
head of the bed, then slides it under Lance's hips when Lance lifts
them.  "Better?"

"Uh huh.  Fucking, please!"

Chris laughs and then repositions himself.  Gets his dick out and
-- 'cause Lance is demanding it so much that he's pretty sure
Lance'll kill him if he puts the fucking off any longer -- pushes
in.

"Owwie!" Lance declares happily.

Chris giggles and starts fucking him.

Lance plays with Chris's hair around the garland for as long as he
can.  But the bodice restricts his breathing, and Chris is fucking
him just right, right at the point where it nearly hurts because it
feels so good.  Or it feels so good because it nearly hurts, he's
not exactly sure.  But Chris is there, and Lance is dizzy and
swaying, even while he holds still, because of how good it all is.

Chris *respects* Lance.  Like in the really intimate way where
Lance's ass is the best thing Chris has ever fucked, and he
completely and totally wants to marry it.

Chris seems to remember suddenly that Lance has a dick, too,
because out of nowhere, Chris is jerking him off.  Which is good,
so Lance comes.

When Lance comes, Chris does too, because it's fucking sexy hearing
and feeling Lance comes apart because of him.  He rolls to the side
and rests his hand on Lance's bodice.  "Want any help getting out
of all this?"

Lance, barely conscious, rolls over on Chris and passes out.

Chris snorts.  "Kids these days.  No stamina."  He loosens Lance's
clothing as much as he can and then puts his arms around Lance,
holding him.  "Loveable though.  Very loveable."

Lance snuffles closer and starts to snore.

"Night, Lance," Chris says softly.  "Hope you wanna do this again
sometime."

"T'morrow, 'kay?" Lance asks between snores.

"Yeah," Chris says, cheered.  "Tomorrow."