SUMMARY: NSYNC, Lance.  Lance is a girl.  Always has been.  Won't
necessarily always be.


Shakespearian Girls, by Mercutio (mercutio@europa.com)


It took them longer than was really plausible to figure out that
Lance was really a girl disguised as a boy. The buying of tampons
should have been a tip-off. The insistence on privacy while
changing. The lip gloss when they weren't on stage. The startling
resemblance to Ellen DeGeneres.

But the fact was, they didn't. Not until Justin walked in on Lance
taping up his -- or rather, her -- breasts. "Jesus!" he said, and
backed out of the room hurriedly, before running for
reinforcements.

Brought to bay, Lance admitted to the truth. "It wasn't like it was
a very good disguise," she said irritably.

"But, dude. Your voice."

"Alto. Very low alto."

There were expressions of general disbelief, before Joey shook his
head and said, "You know, I woulda thought, if any of us was really
a girl, it'd be Chris."

"Hey! I'm not a... stop touching me there! Or if you're going to
touch me, do it a little bit harder and to the left. Oh, yeah.
That's the stuff."

"Justin!"

"What? He likes it."

"He likes it a little too much," Joey said darkly.

"Yeah, but it's so cute. He's like a dog getting its leg
scratched."

"Yeah, but he's not a dog, and that's not his leg you're
scratching. Besides, you keep that up and..."

"Yeah," Justin said, wiping his hand off. "Chris is definitely a
guy."

****

The guys didn't want to be freaked out about it, because it was
less than manly to admit you got the heebies-jeebies just by being
around someone, but they did and they were.  Chris was the only one
who stuck around after Lance's little announcement.  Joey left the
room first, followed by Justin and JC, Justin hurriedly and JC more
sedately, giving Lance a tiny little smile as he left.

Chris just sat there and stared at Lance.  Lance stared back, not
giving an inch.

"What I want to know," Chris said finally, "is why?"

Lance shrugged.  "You remember how Justin and I had the same vocal
coach, right?"

"Yeah.  He was the one who gave us your name.  Are you saying he
*knew*?"

"Duh.  It wasn't like I had any reason to pretend to be a guy then. 
I was an alto.  Am an alto.  And NSYNC was looking for a bass.  He
asked, you know.  If a girl would be okay, because he didn't know
any good basses, but somebody -- probably Lou -- told him that boy
bands didn't have girls in them."

"So, what?  He shoved a pair of jeans at you and told you to fly to
Orlando?"

Lance rolled her eyes.  "No.  He told my mama that it was a crying
shame that I was a girl, because there was a musical group looking
for someone with my range, but they weren't ready to accept that
the range belonged to a female."

"Your *mother* shoved a pair of jeans at you?"

"Chris!  No.  It was my idea.  Because my range was so low and
because the show choir was always short of boys, I'd been dressing
up as one for that for a couple of years already.  I'd even cut my
hair shorter because," and Lance's voice got bitter, "it wasn't
like anyone wanted to date me anyway, so who cared that I looked
like a boy?"

"And then you get here and everyone tells you that you look like a
girl."  Chris snickered.

"It was different, definitely.  My mama didn't like the idea.  She
kept hanging up on Lynn whenever she called, but eventually she
gave in.  I just wanted it so much, you know?"  She shrugged.  "And
you guys bought it."

"I'm in awe.  Simply in awe.  All over the world, liars have a new
patron saint.  Lance Bass, and hold on just a cotton picking second
-- Lance isn't even your name, is it?"

"And you're supposed to be the smart one."

"And you're supposed to be male.  What *is* your name, anyway?"

"Tell anyone and I kill you."

"That bad, huh?  What is it, huh?"  Chris started bouncing. 
"Luann?  Hortense?  Ooh, no, I know, I know!"

"Do you now?"

"Dixie!"  Chris started singing, "'Oh, I wish I was in Dixie,
hurray! hurray!"

Lance hit him.  "No.  My parents didn't hate me that much.  God,
you're annoying."

"You're just now figuring that out?  So what is it?"

"Karen."

"Your real name is Karen?  Karen, like JC's mom, Karen?"

"Yes.  But I'd really rather you didn't call me that.  I've gotten
used to answering to Lance.  And you might mess up if you started
calling me that.  And what the fuck are you laughing at?"

Chris was giggling hysterically.  "Dude!  Karen!"

"Yeah?  I already told you, don't call me that."

"Karen!"

Lance kicked him.

"Karen!"

Lance kicked him hard this time.

"Fucker.  Stop that.  You don't get it -- Karen!  We really are
NSYNC!  It was, like, meant-to-be or something.  I always knew that
Lansten stuff was crap.  I just didn't know how right I was.  You
really are cool, Bass.  If that is your name."

"Yes," Lance said with an air of thinly worn patience.  "My last
name is still Bass."

"Unless you, like, got married!  Then it'd be your maiden name!"

Lance kicked him again.

Chris got up and backed off.  "Okay, okay, I know when I'm not
wanted.  And, hey, the rest of the guys'll come around.  They've
just got to get used to it."

"What's there to get used to?  I'm exactly the same as I was
yesterday."

"Except today you have breasts.  Which -- and I can't believe I'm
just now realizing this -- clash really badly with your Adam's
apple.  How the fuck do you have an Adam's apple?  I get it! 
You're not really a girl at all!  This is just some stupid plot you
and Timberlake came up with to get to us.  Oh, you had me going all
right--"

Lance flipped up her shirt.

"Um, never mind.  Nice tits, by the way.  What the fuck?"

Lance sighed.  "I had some surgery done a while back.  It seemed
like a good idea at the time."

"On your *Adam's apple*?"

"We're singers.  It's what people notice."

"Unlike, say, our dicks."

"I'm not likely to pose naked any time soon.  The rest can be taken
care of with proper padding."

Chris looked at Lance suspiciously.  "Have you had any other
surgery done?"

"Not yet."

"Not *yet*?"

She shrugged.  "I figured I might as well go all the way.  I've
been doing hormone therapy for a while now.  Eventually, when we
get enough time, I'm going to go for the full package."

"Jesus, Bass.  Why?"

"I think of myself more as a man than a woman, and so does everyone
else.  And the more famous we get, the more likely it is that I'm
going to get found out if I stay a woman."

"But... you've gotten away with it this long.  It doesn't matter."

Lance shook her head.  "Someone would eventually find out."

Chris snorted.  "Right.  Like it's so hard now.  All they'd need
would be your birth certificate.  Or your high school yearbook. 
The conspicuous lack of a James Lance Bass ought to be a big
tip-off that something's wrong."

"Already taken care of.  I'm not an *amateur*."  Lance gestured at
herself.  "This is the last bit of hard evidence.  Once this is
taken care of, no one will ever be able to prove I wasn't born a
man.  They can speculate if they want, but they won't be able to
prove anything."

"You could just stop hiding, you know," Chris said.  "Seriously. 
Tell people you're a girl."

"Then people really would think I'm a transsexual."

"Is it all about what people think?"

"Isn't it?  Besides, I've gotten used to being a man.  I wouldn't
know how to suddenly be a woman.  The expectations are easier to
live up to this way."

"Except you're going to let someone cut you open and take away what
you are just to be what people think you are."

Lance smiled wanly.  "Like I haven't already?  Like we all haven't? 
I'm just doing it a little more drastically, that's all.  And,
Chris?  Change your pants.  That's disgusting."

"Oh, what, like you haven't done it, Bass-- er, never mind.  Jesus,
this is going to be weird to get used to."

"Not for me."

****

Chris taking things almost normally, for Chris, was the aberration. 
The next day, when Lance went to get on the tour bus she shared
with Joey, she found Joey walking out with a duffel bag over his
shoulder.

It was perfectly clear what he was doing, and she didn't need to
get on the bus to know that the rest of his stuff was already moved
out.

"What's going on, Joey?" she asked him quietly.

"Nothing," he said, not looking at her.  "Just... felt it was time
for a change, that's all."

He only paused for a second, and kept right on walking over to the
three-man bus.

"Yeah, sure.  Whatever," Lance said, and wrapped her arms around
herself.  She turned away and got on the other bus.  Without her
best friend.

****

"Of course you can stay here, Joey," JC said sympathetically. 
"It's a hard thing to get used to, Lance being a girl and all.  It
must be very difficult for you.  Would you like some herbal tea?"

Justin wrinkled his nose at the extra bags cluttering the bus. 
They ganged up sometimes, all on one bus, or four against one, but
they never moved *everything* from one bus to the other.  There
just wasn't room enough.  "Dude, this isn't going to work.  Someone
needs to go over to the other bus."

Joey sat down and didn't look up, planting himself like an
immovable rock while JC made for the teapot.

"And clearly that someone is not going to be Joey.  So," Chris said
brightly.  "Who's it going to be?"

JC and Justin looked at each other, then, as one, turned on Chris. 
"Well... y'know, you are the most girly..."

****

Lance looked up as JC climbed on the bus, dropping his bag on the
couch.  "Um, hi?"

"Hi," JC said, and sat down.  His lower lip was stuck out in a
half-pout.

"I'm, um, sorry?"

"For what?"

Lance gestured at him, and around them, at the bus.  "Well,
obviously, the other guys kicked you off and made you ride with me,
and you didn't want to, so I'm sorry."

JC sniffed and pulled his lip in.  "I'm not mad at *you*.  It's
just... we voted and decided that it would be Chris who came over. 
And then Chris threw himself at Justin and grabbed onto his leg and
wouldn't let go, and so then I had to come over, and it's not that
I don't like you, it's that the recording stuff is on *that* bus."

"Oh.  Um..." Lance tried to work out a better arrangement in her
head, but Justin hated being parted from his portable recording
studio just as much as JC did, and if Chris wouldn't leave Justin,
there just really wasn't a way for everyone to be happy.  That was
one of the reasons Joey and Lance usually shared a bus.  "Maybe if
you switched busses every so often?  Justin and Chris could come
over here tomorrow and you could ride over there."

"No.  I still wouldn't be able to work *with* Justin."

"Then I don't really know what to do.  I'm sorry, JC."

JC gave her a wistful little smile and reached over to squeeze her
shoulder.  "It's okay.  It's not your job to fix everything."

"Actually, it kinda is."

"Oh.  Well, then, it's okay that you can't always do it.  Because,
you know, this isn't your fault."

Lance crossed her arms over her chest.  "Yeah.  Of course not."

"No, really it isn't.  Joey just... has to figure out how to deal. 
Because you're still Lance, right?"

"Um... no.  You can keep calling me Lance and all, but I'm not. 
Not really.  I'm Karen."

JC cocked his head, then stuck out his hand.  "Hi, I'm JC.  Nice to
meet you."

Lance laughed and shook her head, but took his hand anyway.  "Nice
to meet you, too.  Come here often?"

JC looked up at her through his eyelashes.  "Not nearly often
enough."

****

Justin thrust his hips out.  "Oh, yeah.  Oh, yeah.  Who's the man? 
I'm the man.  Woohoo."

"For the record," Chris said, watching the swiveling pelvis, "I'd
like to point out that being rated the second most manly man of
NSYNC by default isn't saying much."

"Shut up.  You're just jealous."

"Am not."

"Are too."  Justin stopped his victory dance.  "How come Joey gets
to be the most manly man, though?  I'm manly!"

"He got a girl pregnant.  Plus, he has facial hair."

"Hey!  I could grow facial hair."

"I notice you didn't say anything about being able to get a girl
pregnant."

"Unlike some people, *I* know how to use a condom."  Chris started
giggling, and Justin's face fell.  "And Joey's standing right
behind me, isn't he?"

"Yep."

Justin turned around slowly, pasting a big smile on his face. 
"Joey!"

"Got something you want to say to me, J?"

"No?" Justin said hopefully.

"Then get out."

"But--" Justin started, obviously wanting to protest that it was a
bus and there was no place to go, but Joey glared at him. 
"Getting."

Justin disappeared back toward the bunks, and Joey sat down across
from Chris, who was ogling Justin's disappearing ass.

"You know," Joey said, "when I came over here, I thought things
would be normal."

"Normal?  What's that?"

Joey pointed at the TV, with the Playstation sitting in front of
it.  "Y'know.  Video games.  Drinking contests.  Manly bonding. 
Not, well..."

"What?"

"Well, you know, the gay thing really isn't helping me reaffirm my
masculinity."

"Excuse me?"

"C'mon, Chris.  I know you and J are..."

"What?  Fucking?"

"Yeah.  That."

Chris drew himself up huffily.  "So what if I want to fuck Justin? 
Fucking another guy doesn't make you any less of a man.  Having a
dick in your ass makes you less than masculine how?"

"Because *girls* get fucked.  Not guys."

"Hello?  Strap-on.  Never realized you were so vanilla, Joe."

Joey went white.  "You don't think Lance has..."

"Dude, for someone who's suddenly treating Lance like poison, you
sure are obsessed with his sex life."

"*Her* sex life, Chris."

"Oh, yeah.  Hard to remember sometimes, because she's the same old
Lance.  Just female.  And I hear it's polite to call a pre-op
transsexual by their gender-to-be anyway."

"A pre-op *what*?"

"Transsexual," Chris said.  "Lance is going to go all the way and
make herself into a man.  So then you'll be able to share a bus
with her again.  When she's a man, I mean.  It's a shame, really,
that we ever found out.  She would have got it done without telling
us, and you could've kept right on having your oblivious little
straight male friendship.  Not that you've been much of a friend to
Lance."

"Chris..." Joey said, "you're making it sound like I'm being stupid
about this."

"You are."  Chris stood up.  "I'm going to go jump Justin's bones,
and unless I'm really wrong, and I'm hoping I'm not, I think he'll
be up for that.  So I suggest covering your ears or getting a
transfer over to the other bus, where at least temporarily, there's
normal heterosexual stuff going on.  Because this is about to be
the Bus of Conspicuous Loud Gayness, if you get my drift."

"Chris..."

"You fucked up, Joe.  Better start figuring out how to fix it,
because from where I stand, you look like an idiot."

Chris left, and Joey stared at the dark TV screen.  He heard a
squawk of surprise from the back, then a moment's silence.  When
the moaning started, he covered his ears with his hands.  Great. 
Just fucking great.

****

"So..."

"Yeah."  Joey looked up from the floor.  Chris had shoved him into
the Quiet Room and told him to fix his fucking mess, then barred
the door behind him.  Lance was sitting inside, working on her
laptop.  She'd looked up when he came in, and now they were stuck
like this.

"I could probably get a hold of JC," Lance offered.  "Get him to
let you out."

Joey sighed.  "No... Chris is right."

Lance gave him a tiny smile.  "Since when?"

"This time he is.  We need to fix this.  I'm sorry, Lance.  I know
you're best friend and I should be able to deal with this, but it's
just..."

Lance watched him with a cool, judgmental expression.  "Just what?"

He sighed again.  "Everyone expects me to jump you or something. 
Because you're a girl."

"Joey!"

"They do!  I do."  And that was the thing that he hadn't really
wanted to admit, but when he was kept awake by the noisy sex,
Joey'd had plenty of time to think about Lance and what it was that
had freaked him out so much.  "I keep wanting to, y'know."  Joey
reached a hand out helplessly, having a hard time saying it.  "And
I can't.  Because you've seen me in my underwear, scratching my
balls."

"I've also seen you do that *without* your underwear."

"Exactly.  It'd just be weird.  Plus you know my history.  You know
how I am with women."

"How you pick them up, have sex with them and dump them, you mean,"
Lance said drily, hands folded in her lap.

"Right.  You'd *expect* things."

"Expect things?  Joey, what the fuck?  I'm still Lance.  I didn't
develop a sudden interest in female stuff."

"Hey!"

"What?"

"Watch the language.  You should be more lady-like or something."

Later, the other guys agreed that Joey had really been asked for it
when Lance bitch-slapped him.  Chris had screamed like a girl when
Lance kicked him in the balls for locking him and Joey in the Quiet
Room together, and they also agreed that Lance was much more cruel
now that she was a girl.

"Because, you know," Chris said, "it's not that Bass is any more
evil than he was before, just that now that he's a she, she *can*
be more evil, y'know?"

JC and Justin nodded sagely, and kept their legs crossed when Lance
stormed by.

****

So anyway, eventually even Joey came around to accepting that Lance
was really a girl, although he never seemed to get that Lance had
always been a girl and hadn't actually changed except in the way
they perceived her.

He did start dating Kelly again, though, but no one commented on it
or why he was doing it.  He'd moved back to the two-man bus, and
that was enough for everyone.  JC and Justin were happier reunited
over their recording equipment, and if every so often, Chris would
come over to the two-man bus so Lance could join JC on the
three-man, no one commented on that either.  Lance had really good
aim with her right knee, and absolutely no qualms about using it.

They were back together as a group, and that was what mattered.

Ten minutes before Makeup, they were sitting around the Quiet Room,
Lance with her laptop, JC stretched out with his head on Lance's
thigh, and Justin and Chris wrestling on the floor  in front of the
couch, when Justin popped up.

"Lesbians!"

Joey looked up.  JC kept his eyes closed; Lance didn't take her
eyes off the computer screen.

"Lesbians!" Justin repeated.

"Yeah, so, lesbians," Joey said.  "What about lesbians?"

"All along, we thought Lance was gay, right?  Because he didn't
really date women much and he never seemed to enjoy it when he did. 
And he was always staring at... well, y'know.  Staring.  So we
thought he was gay.  But Lance isn't, because for her, dating guys
would make her straight.  Whoa."

Chris swatted him.  "Except she dated girls, too, dumbass."

"So, like, lesbians.  Ooh, can I watch?"

"No."

That came from Chris, not Lance, and Justin looked hurt.  "Why not? 
Lance didn't say no."

Lance still didn't look up.  "No."

"See?" Chris stuck out his tongue.  "And you can't watch because,
first of all, you're fucking me now, and I'm the jealous type."

"You are not."

"Are so."

"Are not."

"Are -- *am* so.  And anyway, Lance is straight.  And dating JC."

Justin's eyes went wide.  "No, really?"

"Yes, really," Lance said.

"You're *straight*?"

Lance looked around for something to hit Justin with, and Chris
laughed.  "Destroying all your cherished illusions about girls, is
she?"

"All girls should be lesbians," Justin said, pouting.  "It's more
fun."

Lance didn't find anything, and settled back down, one hand on JC's
head, holding him steady.  "That answers my question about what you
and Britney did together."

"Hey.  We were virgins, yo."

"Except for the oral sex."

Justin stuck his tongue out at Lance.  "No penetration.  Doesn't
count."

"I hear she said the reason it didn't count was because it was so
small she couldn't find it."  Lance smiled sweetly at Justin, who
opened his mouth for a retort before Chris knocked him down and sat
on him again.

Because, really, it was obvious to everyone that Justin had been
about to call Lance a bitch, and yeah, maybe it was true, even if
JC had moments when he put Lance completely to shame, but Lance was
a bitch you really really didn't want to piss off.

-the end-