SUMMARY:  NSYNC/Backstreet, Chris/AJ, Chris/Eminem.  It's the end
of the world and Chris wants sex.  From an mprov (Chris and AJ,
etiquette; exterminate; absurdity; ferry).

NOTE:  All of my stories are available on my website
(http://www.europa.com/~mercutio/Stories.html).

ARCHIVE:  Please.  As often as possible and wherever you like.


The Divine Mr. M, by Mercutio (mercutio@europa.com)


"So, did you hear?  There's an asteroid about to hit the Earth and
exterminate all of mankind.  Wanna fuck?"

AJ pulled the phone back from his ear, and looked at the number. 
Blocked.  "Who the hell is this?  And that was a movie.  Two
movies.  And the one of the lamest pick-up lines ever."

"No, really.  There was an asteroid and it came within 75,000 miles
of the Earth and there was like a real danger that everyone was
going to die.  Um, yesterday.  But I didn't hear about it until
today.  So it'd really be better if you could pretend this was
yesterday."

"The next thing I hear will be a name, or I'm hanging up."

"It's Chris."

"Chris?" AJ fitted the name with the absurdity level of the
conversation.  "Kirkpatrick.  What the fuck?"

"Exactly.  But you don't seem very enthused about the idea."

"Some whack job just called me in the middle of the afternoon and
hit on me.  How do you think I feel?"

"Flattered?"

AJ snorted.  "Try annoyed.  Look, you don't just call
near-strangers up in the middle of the afternoon and ask to have
sex with them."

"Thank you, Mr. Etiquette.  Just for that, I *won't* call you up
for sex in the middle of the afternoon anymore."

"Thanks."

"So does the middle of the night work better for you?"

"You don't give up, do you?"

"Nope.  Do you want me to come over there, or do you want to come
over here?  I've got supplies, so less stuff to ferry over to your
place if you come here, but as the askee, I thought I'd leave it up
to you."

"No.  You are not coming here, and I'm not going there.  In case
you missed it, I'm engaged.  Happily involved with a member of the
opposite sex.  A living breathing human being, as opposed to
imaginary friends."

"I'm beginning to think you don't like me," Chris said with a
melodramatic throb in his voice.  "But that's all right.  I'm
prepared to overlook that."

"I'm hanging up now, Kirkpatrick.  Don't call back."  AJ took the
phone away from his ear.

"Wait!" came a high-pitched screech.

"What?"

"Can I call back if there's another asteroid?  Because I completely
understand how you're not willing to overthrow your current
relationship and sexuality du jour without the threat of the world
coming to an end, but in the event that it does..."

AJ cut him off.  "No.  Just out of curiosity, are the prank calls
why Eminem dissed you in that song?  'Cause the ass kicking threat
is making a lot more sense now."

"Hmm.  The Divine Mr. M does seem to appreciate the Kirkpatrick
charms."

"Probably a whole hell of lot more than I do.  Need his number?"


-the end-