Pairing: Joey and Kevin
Words: idiocy; colander; fade; abide


Kevin stopped him with a firm hand to the chest and a commanding
glare.  It was like getting checked by a football player.

Joey came to a halt in the hallway.  Over Kevin's shoulder, he
could see Nick stick his tongue out at him and disappear into his
hotel room.

"I think I've put up with a lot," Kevin said.

"Um..."  Joey wasn't sure how to handle a chewing out from a
Backstreet Boy.  He didn't think the technique he used for dealing
with Lance when Lance got pissy would work too well.  Blowjobs were
not the universal solvent, as Chris kept trying to remind him. 
"You have?"

"I have.  I've put up with the screaming.  The drunkenness.  The
noisy sex.  But it's 3 a.m., and I'm trying to sleep, and here you
are, chasing Nick through the hall with a colander."

Joey held up the metal object he'd taken from the hotel kitchen. 
"That's what this is?"

"Yes.  It is.  Would you mind telling me what idiocy you intend to
get up to with that?"

"Um... I was going to put it on Nick's head to block out the alien
brain waves that were telling him to pants AJ?"

Kevin nodded slowly.  "I see.  And that would be a bad thing, why?"

Joey really didn't like how reasonable Kevin sounded.  "Because
he'd see AJ's dick, and then he'd want to fuck him."

"Bearing in mind that he and AJ have been fucking off and on for
about three years, this would be a bad thing, why?"

"They have?"

"Yes."

Kevin stared down at him, eyebrows pursed in a way that looked like
it was supposed to be meaningful.  Joey suddenly got it.  "Oh!  You
think I didn't know that.  This is where I'm supposed to get
jealous and leave, right?"

"Nick told you."

"Um, no.  AJ did."

Kevin raised an eyebrow.  "He did?"

"Well, we *were* having sex at the time."

"You know what?" Kevin said.  "I don't really want to know.  I
don't even care.  I just want to get some sleep.  If you two can
just agree to abide to some reasonable level of noise--"

"A dull roar?" Joey suggested helpfully.

"Right.  Keep it to a dull roar, and I don't care if you fuck Nick,
AJ, Howie, Brian, and the cocktail waitresses from the bar
downstairs."

"The bar closed an hour ago."  The vein in Kevin's temple was
throbbing, Joey noted.  He watched in fascination as a red flush
rose from Kevin's neck to his cheeks, and then faded again before
Kevin spoke.

"All right.  I'll make myself clearer.  Shut the hell up, or I'll
make your life miserable."

Joey folded his arms, a little smug.  "I have a kid.  Who had
colic.  There's nothing you can do that could make me more
miserable than that was."

"You don't want to push me, Fatone."

Okay, so Joey really didn't care one way or the other about
*winning* a testosterone contest with Kevin, but he *was* Italian
*and* male, and Kevin was pushing his buttons.  Punching them hard,
even.  "And why's that?"

Kevin snapped his jaw shut, swiveled on his heel and knocked on the
door Nick had disappeared into.

"Hey, Joey, you made it back alive!  Oh, Kevin.  Hi."  Nick's
self-confident manner dissolved into stammering.

"Take your boyfriend to bed and keep him quiet, or else.  Got that,
Nick?"

"Yeah.  Sure, Kev.  Whatever you say, Kevin."

Kevin turned around and marched back to his room.  Joey watched him
go, then looked at Nick.  In a normal tone of voice, he asked,
"What's that all about?"

"Ssh," Nick said in a frantic whisper, and dragged him into the
room.  "Do you want him to hear you?"

"Um..."

"You don't.  You really don't."

"What's so scary about him?  Daily beatings?  Hour-long lectures? 
Suspended phone privileges?"

"Eighteen hour dance rehearsals."

Joey held up his hands.  "Say no more."  He mimed zipping his lips
shut.  "We don't really need to talk anyway."

Nick grinned, nodded, and led Joey to the bed.