Pairing: Chris and Nick
Words: mutter; mottled; entity; mega


Nick sniffles repeatedly.  "I don't wanna be here," he mutters.  "I
wanna go home!"  His mother jerks on his arm and he winces and
wipes his nose.  The door opens and the mysterious entity known as
Chris Kirkpatrick looks out.

"You the tenor?  Nick Carter?"

Nick's mother makes the introductions, smiles and nods and talks
about how wonderful Nick is and how biddable and how talented.  Her
fingers dig into his arm again.  He smiles hugely.  "Hello, Mr.
Kirkpatrick.  Thank you so much for letting me come audition for
your group."

So he auditions.  He sings and smiles and sings some more and
smiles some more.  And nods, yes, he did audition for Backstreet
Boys, and no, it didn't work out.  Yes, he's ready to make this
serious commitment.  No, he doesn't know what Germany would be
like, but he'd really like to learn.  And, yes.  He knows Justin
Timberlake.

Chris gives Joey the high sign and takes Nick off for a quiet chat
while Joey distracts Nick's severely over-protective mom.

Thumbs in his pockets, Chris leans against the wall.  "So.  This
really what *you* wanna do, kid?"

"Of course!  I love singing."

"No, I mean this.  Working hard.  Getting famous.  Signing over
your childhood."

Nick smiles.  "I've been auditioning and performing since I was
three.  I don't mind working hard."

Chris shakes his head.  "There's something really wrong with you. 
But if you want to do this, really want to, I'm not gonna stop
you."

"What do you mean there's something wrong with me?" Nick asks,
smile wilting around the edges.

Chris gives him a long look.  "Nothing.  Don't worry about it. 
You're in."

"Just like that?  You don't need to hear anyone else?"  Nick's
surprised.  Beyond surprised.  His mother will be so happy.  He
smiles.

"You've got the voice, and, God help me, the looks.  Star quality. 
You're the one."

"Okay.  Thank you.  When do I need to be here?"

"Soon as possible, long as possible.  You, me, Joey, Justin and
Jason gotta start working on a demo."

"Okay.  My mom'll be able to arrange it, then."  Nick smiles again.

It's a whirl.  He doesn't leave Orlando.  His mom puts him in a
hotel and gives him cab fare.  She goes home to get his things.  He
stays and rehearses.

Then Jason finds Joey in bed with Justin and things go downhill
very fast.

"I'm not going to be part of a group with kid-fuckers!" he screams. 
"You sick bastard."

Joey's holding his jaw or he'd be saying something.

Nick flinches.  It's totally not fair.  Joey's only eighteen, and
Justin's fifteen, and that's way old enough.  Nick's not sure what
to do other than call Chris, which he's already done.

It's Justin who breaks the showdown, slugging an unsuspecting Jason
in the stomach.  "You dickhead."

Jason shoves Justin away.

Chris steps forward as Justin lands on his ass and shoves Jason
down into a chair.  "You know," he says levelly.  "You're a real
prick.  You barge into Joey's room and you see two -- fully clothed
-- guys asleep and you jump to conclusions without even bothering
to ask what the real situation is."

"Fully clothed!" Jason says indignantly.

"Jammies are clothing, and Joey's wearing more than you are."  In
deference to the Florida heat, Jason's in a muscle shirt with tiny
shorts.

"And that makes it right how?" Jason asks bitingly, standing back
up.  "So they got dressed after Joey got done fucking him.  He's
still a pervert."

Chris turns to Justin, 'cause Joey's still holding onto his jaw. 
"Did Joey do anything to you?  Anything sexual at all, whether you
wanted it or not?"

Justin looks at Chris, not at Jason.  "He kissed the top of my head
when I got into bed with him.  That's it."

Nick hands Joey a towel of ice.  "Here.  For your face."

Joey nods and takes the ice, settling it against his jaw.

Nick fades into the background again.

Chris looks at Jason.  "So there.  You know now."

"So he wasn't fucking him.  He still shouldn't be sleeping with
him."

Chris looks at Nick.  "You have a problem with people sleeping
together?  Just sleeping?  I already know Joey and Justin don't. 
And I don't either."

Nick shakes his head.

Chris looks at Jason.  "So it's just you who has a problem.  Over
sleeping.  Over a little cuddling."  His tone is scathing.  "Like
you won't want it just as bad when things get rough.  Or do you
think the only way a guy can be manly is to get drunk?"

Jason's eyes narrow.  "Fuck you, Kirkpatrick.  Just because they're
only sleeping now doesn't mean that Joey isn't gonna fuck him
later.  He's a pedophile."

Chris' mouth is very tight.  He doesn't look at the others.  "I
guess this is where we start looking for another bass."

"Joey's only eighteen, Jason," Nick insists.  "He's a kid, too!"

Chris nods.  "If I was sleeping with Nick, you *might* have a
point.  Maybe.  If I was sleeping him *and* touching him  without
his clothes on.  *If*.  Me, I think there's something suspicious
about a guy who sees perversion wherever he looks."

Jason stands up.  "I could tell Lou about this," he threatens. 
"And Lynn and Jane."

Chris shrugs.  "Go for it."  He smiles toothily.  "It'll be your
word against everyone else's, you know."

Jason looks at Nick.  "C'mon, you're not going to back them up, are
you?  You know they're gonna go after your sweet young ass next,
don't you?"

"I think you should shut up about sweet young asses before you get
your ass kicked," Chris suggests.

Nick shrugs.  "First, nobody was doing anything to Justin's ass. 
Second, I don't care.  Third, if you say anything to my mother,
she's going to sue you for slandering my sweet young *name*."

Chris snickers.  "Way to go, Carter."

And that's how Jason leaves the group.

~~~~

Lance is cool, Nick likes him.  But Nick thinks that Chris has to
be lonely, being the oldest by so much.  He's gotta feel like a
babysitter, and Nick doesn't want that for Chris, so he tries to
act as grown up as he can, and make it easier.

"Nick, you can go back to bed," Chris says, when he gets up too
early one morning and finds Nick already up and eating and ready to
practice.  "Wait til it gets light out at least."

"I'm not tired," Nick says with a shrug.  "There are eggs on the
stove, if you want some."  He doesn't smile.  It pisses tired
people off when you smile.

"Sure."  Chris tousles Nick's hair as he passes, mostly because
Nick hates it, and grabs some eggs.  "So how're things going? 
Everything good?  Need a dog to eat your homework?"

Nick laughs.  "Nah, it's okay.  It's not too hard or anything.  Mom
talks to the tutors."

"Does she," Chris says.  It's not a question, not really.  He
doesn't like Nick's mom at all.  But she's a necessity, along with
Justin and Lance's mom.  Only Lynn is cool, and Diane -- while
verging on over-protective -- is also just as supportive as she is
protective and she seems to regard all of them as her kids, not
just Lance.  But Jane?  Evil incarnate.

"Sure, so it's never too bad."

"Well, that's cool then."  Chris pulls up a chair next to Nick.

Nick drinks his milk, careful not to make the little gulping sound. 
"You want some bacon?  I think I'm gonna make some."

"Sure, if you feel like making it."

Nick gets up and starts frying some bacon.

Chris eats his eggs, then heads over to the stove and leans against
Nick.  In a friendly-like way.

Nick smiles at Chris over his shoulder and flips the bacon onto
some paper plates.  "All done!"

"You make a good wife."  Chris pecks Nick on the cheek and swipes
the plate.

Nick rolls his eyes and starts making sausage for Joey and Lance.

Chris eats about three-quarters of the bacon before feeling guilty
about eating it all.  He gets up and goes back over to the stove. 
"Okay, open up.  You need to eat some of this too."

Nick opens his mouth and flips the sausage over.

Chris feeds the bacon to Nick like a mama bird feeding a baby bird. 
But Nick kinda looks grossed out when Chris tries to stick the
chewed up bacon in his mouth, so he just gives him the stuff off
the plate instead.

Nick chews doubtfully, but doesn't mention it.

"Hey, you made the bacon, stop giving me that look."

Nick smiles shyly.  "Okay, then."  He takes the sausage out of the
pan and offers a link to Chris.

Chris grins back and takes a bite.

Nick watches Chris lick his lips and knows he really should look
away before someone figures out how much he kinda likes Chris a
lot.

"A great wife," Chris says and takes another bite.

Nick flushes and looks down.  "Thanks."

Chris looks at him, amused.  "If you get this flustered when
someone says nice things about you, you're gonna have a helluva time
when all the little girlies are screaming your name."

Nick laughs.  "They'll scream for Justin and Lance."

"And you."

"Sure."  Nick shrugs.  "Hey, Joey said you were gonna do something
different to your hair before we left.  Is that true?"  He turns
off the stove and puts the pan in the sink.

"Yeah.  Apparently I'm supposed to be the bad boy, inasmuch as our
cotton candy image allows, so I'm gonna do something with it. 
Still not sure whether to braid it or just go with dreads."

"Braids look neater," Nick says.  "I mean, cleaner."

"Yeah, but dreads are so much badder.  Plus I can just get up in
the morning and not have to fuss with it."

Nick laughs.  "True."

Chris turns around to jump up on the counter.  Feet swinging idly,
he says, "So you're a teenie.  Which do you think makes me look
sexier?"

"Braids."  Nick puts the milk back in the fridge and starts tidying
up the kitchen.  He doesn't look at Chris.

"Braids it is then."

Nick smiles.

His mission here complete, Chris hops down and heads onto the rest
of his day.

~~~~

Germany is cold, lonely, miserable, and free.  Cold for obvious
reasons.  Lonely because they're all so tired that there's not time
to interact.  Just dancing and sleep.  Miserable because Nick
thinks his whole body is broken, he hurts so damn much.  Growing
pains are a bitch, but hopefully he'll get tall out of it.  And
free because Nick's mother doesn't come with them.  Lance's mom and
Justin's are often with them, so Jane feels he's adequately
chaperoned, and she stays home with the others.  It's wonderful.

"Scoot over, kiddo," Chris says, trying to get into the van. 
They've done two shows today, one in the afternoon and this last
one.  It's after ten already, and they'll be lucky if they get to
their beds by midnight, what with showers and everything.

Nick slides tight against the window in the middle seat.  Justin
and Joey are in the back with Lance and Justin's mom in the front. 
He offers Chris a hand.

Chris takes it and gets in.  Justin's curled up against Joey,
obviously intending to sleep on the way back.  Chris thinks they've
got the right idea.  "You tired, kiddo?"

"Always," Nick says wryly.  "Like all of us."

"Okay.  Then's how's about you and me switch, and you can lay down
and get a nap.  Us old people don't need as much sleep as you young
whippersnappers."

"We can switch if you want, but I'm not gonna sleep on the way
back."

Chris' brows beetle.  "Why not?"

"I don't like to sleep in a car when it's snowing."  Nick gestures
at the huge flakes drifting past.  "We had an accident once."

"Oh.  That sucks."

"It's not a long drive.  It'll be okay.  But if you wanna sleep, I
can be a pillow."

Chris bites his lip and looks at Nick.  He's tired.  He'd kinda
hoped to nap on Nick while Nick did the same thing on him.  "You
sure?"

"Yeah, totally."  Nick shifts back against the window some more and
holds out his arm for Chris.

Chris turns on his side and lies down, head against Nick's side. 
"This okay?"

"Yeah."  Nick's arm settles over Chris's chest.  "Go to sleep."

Chris closes his eyes.  He doesn't quite sleep so much as he
listens to the sound of the van and Nick's breathing and doesn't
worry about anything else.

Nick pets Chris's coat sleeve idly, and watches out the window. 
Then he turns and watches Chris breathe.  Blinks get longer and
longer.  It's just so nice, with someone touching him and being
warm and comfortable against him, that Nick falls asleep.

When they get to the motel they're staying in, Chris doesn't want
to get up.  He hasn't exactly been asleep, but he hasn't been awake
either, and he doesn't want to get up.  But he does, because real
beds are better than vans -- and sees Nick blinking sleepily.

Chris smiles at him.  "Time to go to bed."

Nick nods and yawns.  He barely remembers to cover his mouth,
tasting fuzzy mitten.

Chris waits for Nick to get out, then heads up with him to the
rooms.  They're sharing tonight, 'cause Justin freezes and Joey's
warm and has lots of warm clothes to share.  Which leaves either
the babies together and Chris alone -- or Chris and Nick and Lance
with his mom. Since Lou's a cheapskate, Lance is with his mom. 
Chris feels sorry for him, but kinda glad that he's too old to have
*his* mom along.

Nick pushes the door open and starts dressing for bed.  Chris
vanishes into the bathroom as Nick pulls on a third pair of socks
and a sweatshirt.

Chris feels a lot better after a quick shower.  He's not a serious
hygiene nut, but there's something about the stale stink of sweat
that gets real old real fast.

Nick takes his turn in the bathroom, using the toilet and brushing
his teeth.  He washes his face and shivers.  He saves his shower
for morning because he'll need it to wake himself up.  A spot clean
with the washcloth will have to do for tonight.

Cleaned up, Chris yawns.  Another long day, but it's still better
than waiting tables.

Nick flips off the bathroom light and scurries to his bed, climbing
in fast.  The sheets are freezing.  He wonders if he'll need to put
his coat on again tonight.

"You okay, kiddo?"

"Y-y-y-yes," Nick chatters.

"Liar."  Chris takes a blanket off his bed and shakes it out,
settling it over Nick.

"No!  Chris, y-you'll get cold!  I'm fine, I just need to get the
sheets heated up."

"I'm a lot more used to this than you are.  Trust me, this ain't
cold."

"Chris..."

"Yeah?"

"Chris, get in bed with me."

Chris chokes.  "Nick!"

"It's too fucking cold for subtlety.  I'm cold, you're cold. 
You're really nice and really hot.  Get in bed with me."

Chris mutters something about evil child mind readers and gets in
the bed.

Nick yawns and curls up against Chris's side.  "Now, go to sleep or
kiss me goodnight and *then* go to sleep.  Or I'll kiss you."

Chris kisses the top of Nick's head, because at least that's safe.

Nick tilts his head up and pecks Chris on the lips.  "G'night,
Chris."

Chris eeps.  Justin's younger, but Nick's got the blonde young
angel thing going on and so he looks a lot younger.  Chris feels
like a pervert even being in the same room with him some days. 
"Don't do that again.  Okay, Nick?"

"Yes, Chris."

Chris closes his eyes.  He's still got an arm over Nick, so if he
was completely honest with himself, he'd know that it doesn't
matter at all what Nick says.  But it's lie to himself or leave, so
he chooses to keep lying.

Nick lays his head on Chris's shoulder and sighs.  "I'm warm," he
says softly.  "Thanks."

"Yeah, yeah.  You're welcome."

Nick doesn't say anything else or really do anything.  He just
breathes slowly and thinks sleepy thoughts and tries to ignore how
sore he is and sleep.

The sad part is, this is what Chris wanted all along.

~~~~

Nick sleeps with Chris a lot after that.  Pretty much every time
they room together.  No one ever says anything, except his mom. 
She says he should be equal opportunity and sleep with everyone,
then he'll be equally loved and everyone will be looking out for
him.  Nick doesn't care what she says.  He's just cold, is all.

Chris is still uncomfortable about sleeping with Nick.  Not the
sleeping part.  But the moral ambiguity of accepting kisses from
Nick when he does it.  He's thought about talking to Joey, but it
seems wrong somehow, like maybe talking to him will send a message
to Joey that Chris thinks Joey is doing the wrong thing, when Chris
doesn't think that at all.

But he's still kinda worried.  Not enough worried to stop sleeping
with Nick though.

Nick is rooming with Justin, which is totally nothing new.  Lance
is with Joey and Chris is alone, because all the moms are gone. 
Nick can't sleep.

"No, seriously, he can sleep through anything, I swear," Justin
whispers.

Nick hears Joey mumble something in reply and then he hears the
springs on Justin's bed creak.

And creak.

And creak.

When Justin starts making noises, Nick grabs his pillow and a
couple blankets and slips out of the room.  He stands, looking up
and down the hallway.  He's not sure what to do.  Maybe knock on
Lance's door?  Because Joey's not using his bed.  That's a good
idea.  Now he just has to figure out which one is Lance's.  He
knows someone is in 452, so he taps at that door.  It's Chris who
answers.

"Hey," Chris says.  He takes in Nick's mussed appearance and
doesn't yell, even though he'd been a sleep.  "You cold?"

"Um.  Justin and Joey are... using our room.  Can you tell me which
one Joey's supposed to be in?"  Nick shifts from foot to foot and
shivers a little.

"Like I have any idea.  C'mon."  Chris turns around and heads back
to his bed.

Nick shrugs and follows.  He spreads his blankets over the top of
Chris's, puts his pillow beside Chris's and climbs into the bed. 
"Thanks.  And sorry I woke you up."

"S'okay.  It's you.  Anyone else, I woulda killed."

Nick giggles.  "Okay."

Chris rubs his hands absently over Nick's arms.  "Maybe you should
wear more clothes to bed."

"I have weird dreams when I do.  Besides, the heat works in this
hotel."  Nick snuggles closer.  "I'd be fine, if Justin and Joey
hadn't started."

"Started?  Started what?"

"Going at it."

"Oh."

"I'm pretty sure they're drunk," Nick offers.

"You're pretty sure Justin is drunk?" Chris asks carefully.

"Both of them, I think."

Chris lets out his breath, even though he's tense.  "Great."

Nick looks up.  "What's wrong?"

"Maybe it bothers me a little that they're having sex.  And that
Justin's drinking."

"Oh, I don't think they're having *actual* sex.  Just kissing and
touching," Nick says to reassure Chris.  "It's okay."

Chris nods, relaxing slightly.  "Yeah?"

"Uh huh."  Nick shrugs.  "It doesn't count anyway, 'cause they're
drunk."

"That's no so bad.  Still.  The drinking thing's a problem."

"Why?"

"Cause."

"We're legal here."

Chris snorts.  "No, you're not.  Lance is.  But you and Justin
aren't."

"We are too.  Fifteen's the drinking age here, and Justin's
sixteen!"

"Are not."

"Huh?"

"You're babies.  You're not allowed to drink or have sex or do
anything adult."

"Riiiight.  Sure.  There are all-new concepts we've never heard
of."  Nick snorts and settles down to sleep.

"They better be," Chris says darkly.

Nick snickers.

"Shut up, you," Chris grumbles.

Nick shuts up and goes to sleep.  Chris is warmer than blankets any
day.

Chris goes back to sleep.  He likes having Nick in his arms.  Likes
feeling Nick breathe and smelling his clean hair.  Probably too
much.

~~~~

Nick is dreaming.  It's one of the dreams he has more and more
frequently here.  It starts with Chris coming and rubbing his legs,
like they do for each other after hard shows.  Only Chris's hands
don't stop at Nick's knees and they do more than relieve the pain. 
Even while he's dreaming, Nick knows it isn't real and knows he
should stop it.  But he doesn't want to.  He's warm and he doesn't
hurt and it just feels so nice.  Mutinously, Nick doesn't make
himself wake up.

Chris wakes himself up as soon as he realizes he's dreaming about
sex.  About a sexy young thing rubbing against him on a dance
floor, him behind and enjoying the grind.

Because he never quite forgets that he's in bed with Nick.  It's
one more way in which his life is restricted, that he can't allow
himself the simple pleasure of a wet dream, but it makes it easier
living with himself even if he's horny a whole lot more often than
he has time to take care of it.

Nick makes a soft protesting sound because Dream Chris stopped. 
"Please, Chris, please?" he whimpers.

Conscious, eyes closed, Nick is even more of a temptation to Chris
than the anonymous figure in his dream.  He brings his hand up from
the dangerous area of Nick's thigh, and strokes his chest.  "Ssh. 
It's okay.  It's a dream."

"I know," Nick says, frustrated.  "Don't want to wake up.  Want it
to be *real*."  And maybe he's not as awake as he thinks if he said
that out loud.

Chris doesn't really mean to do it.  Nick's spooned in front of
him, and really it's only what he'd do to himself.  It sure feels
perfectly natural to reach down and see whether his dick is talking
bull.  Only it isn't.  Either one.  It isn't his dick, and it isn't
talking bull.  Nick's hard.

Nick gasps and tips his head back.  His eyes open, looking up at
Chris.  He presses himself back against the hardness he feels. 
"Chris," he whispers, and smiles.

This is wrong.  It's so, so wrong.  But his hand's exploring
anyway, dipping into Nick's sweats and investigating the little
noises Nick makes as he touches him.

Nick turns onto his back and slides his hand down the front of
Chris's body to return the favor.  God, this is just perfect.

Chris gasps when Nick starts touching him back.  "Nick, you don't
have to.  Don't want you to."

"I want to," Nick pleads.  His hand stills, waiting for permission. 
"Please?"

Getting Nick off is bad enough.  Allowing Nick to get him off --
*asking* Nick to get him off is a lot worse.  "I can't, Nick. 
Please."

Nick whimpers and pulls his hand away.  He reaches down and stops
Chris, too.  "I don't want to.  Without you."

"And if I let you?" Chris asks.  Road to hell, express lane, no
tolls.

"Chris, I want you.  I really like you.  But if you already told me
no, you don't want me to yet."  Nick looks up at Chris.  He knows
from people who get trapped into doing the wrong thing.

"I can't let you touch me," Chris says in a whisper.

"Then don't."  Nick turns to face Chris and slides his arm over
Chris's waist.  "Just be comfy."

Chris marvels at the irony that Nick's the one being mature here. 
But it's reassuring because it means Nick won't let himself do
something that he's not ready for.  "Okay."

Nick smiles.  "You haven't scarred my little psyche or anything, by
the way."

"You're scarring mine," Chris grumbles.

"You've never done this before?" Nick asks.

"What?  Seduced someone half my age for immoral purposes?  No."

"Done sexy things with a boy."

"No, I've definitely done that before."

"Then why are you all scarred?"

"Because only perverts wanna fuck kids, and I wanna do you in the
worst way."

Nick laughs.  "I'm not a kid, not like that."

"Are so."

"Sure, if you say so.  Have no idea how you're defining it, but if
you say so."

"Sure.  Go ahead and be reasonable.  See if I care."  Chris's tone
is disgruntled, but he's pleased that Nick's not arguing that he's
old enough to do whatever he likes.  And hell, Nick is.  Just not
old enough for Chris.

Nick hugs Chris tight.  "Shut up, or I'll make Lance come to you
for the gay sex talk."

"Lance, too?  Jesus, isn't anyone straight anymore?"

"Lance sure isn't."

Chris gives Nick a suspicious look.  "You and Lance?"

"I'm pretty sure he's bi, too," Nick says.  "Justin is.  You'd know
Joey better'n me."

"Joey... is Joey.  He has a lotta love to pass around, and he
doesn't mind sharing.  Y'know?"

"Uh huh.  He's nice."

"Very nice and cuddly," Chris agrees, noting that he's going to
have to rip Joey's balls off if he touches Nick with intention.

"Not as nice as you," Nick offers.

"Good."  Chris is, he realizes, jealous.  Really jealous.

Nick yawns and closes his eyes.  "Very good."

Chris watches Nick for a while.  Oh, boy.  This is not gonna be
fun.

Nick smiles at Chris.  "You're watchin' me."

"Yeah."

"I like it."

"You do?"  Chris' fingers move completely independently of his
brain and start carding Nick's floppy blonde hair.

"Yeah.  You actually see *me* and that's cool."

"As opposed to all the other guys I sleep with."

"As opposed to the hype, or a meal ticket, or a sure thing, or a
pretty child."

"You're a pretty child.  That's exactly how I see you.  That's the
problem."

"No, you don't.  If you did, you'd want to buy me candy and have me
sit on your lap and call you Daddy."

"No, that would be if I was an even more serious pervert than I am
already.  And I do buy you candy, dork."

"Only when you buy it for yourself, too."

"Well, yeah.  Why would I get candy and not get any for myself?"

"You're a kid.  A hot kid."

"I'm a million years older than you."

"You so are not."

"Okay, I'm a million billion years older than you."

"Dork."

"You know it."

"Of course I do, I'm brilliant.  Or something."

"Yep, you are."

Nick grins.  "I'm so not."

"You think I'm cool.  What more do you need in the way of smarts?"

"Not much."

"Exactly.  Now go back to sleep.  We've got at least 10 minutes
before we absolutely have to be up."

"Okay."

Chris kisses Nick's ear, the first time he's kissed Nick without
prompting and closes his eyes.  He doesn't think he'll sleep, but
it's worth a try.

Nick sighs and cuddles.  Sleep is overrated.  Cuddling is *way*
underrated.

~~~~

Justin is unsurprisingly less than thrilled about Chris laying down
the law over drinking.  He actually refuses, at least until Chris
threatens to tell Diane on him.  Chris knows Lynn wouldn't care one
way or the other, but Diane'll stop Lance from drinking if Chris
tells, and Lance'll stomp all over Justin.  It's a beautiful world.

Nick accepts getting smacked and having his homework flushed as
payment for squealing.  He doesn't like trig anyway.

Chris is still uneasy over the Joey-Justin sex thing.  It's not
that he doesn't trust what Nick told him.  It's more like, if
that's what Nick is seeing, then the reality is probably worse.

And the other thing.  Which is that, now that it's out in the open,
he really wants to touch Nick.  He finds himself putting his hands
on Nick more often.  Small of the back, shoulders, bumping his hip. 
Thinking about Nick's lips.

He's a sad little man.

Nick falls back on his bed and stretches.  "I'm so fucking tired,"
he moans.  Chris won't yell at him for swearing.  Probably.

"You're supposed to have more energy than me, not less," Chris
says, dropping his bag on the floor and heading for the shower.

Nick moans.  "Your bones aren't all busy all night long!"

"Right.  I just sit in a wheelchair while the rest of you push my
geriatric ass around."

"Hey, I'm still growing, man!"

"Yeah, yeah.  A likely story."  Chris strips off his clothes and
gets in the shower.

Nick follows Chris.  "Mind if I brush my teeth?  I'm totally beat,"
he asks from the doorway.

"Go for it," Chris says, pulling the shower door shut so the room
doesn't get soaking wet.

Nick brushes his teeth and watches Chris's blurred form in the
mirror.  "Someday, I'm gonna shower with you," he says, after
spitting.  "Not sneak in, I mean with permission."

"If you count that school we played at with the group showers, you
already have."

"And don't think I didn't look."

"Yeah?  Considering how gay we all are, I'm surprised I don't have
eyeprints on my ass."

"I'm not gay.  And I looked at everybody."

"Bi.  Whatever."

Nick shrugs.  "Sorta, I guess."

Chris stops soaping.  "Nick?  Are you trying to tell me you're
straight?"

"I'm not.  But I'm not... I don't.  I don't wanna have *sex* with
many guys," Nick says, considering himself in the mirror.  "Just
you and a couple other guys before.  I mean, I've *done* it with
more.  I don't know.  I'm bi, but selective, maybe.  That makes
sense."

Chris goes back to washing.  "So.  You've done 'it' with a lot of
guys?"

"Not everything, but some."  Nick sighs.  "I just wanna do it with
you, now."

You want to do what with me?"

"I wanna shower with you.  Make out with you for hours.  Touch you
everywhere."  Nick bows his head.  "I wanna suck you and have your
mouth on me.  I wanna get fucked by you."  His voice is just a
harsh whisper, barely loud enough to be heard over the shower. 
"But it's not about what I want.  Not just what I want.  It's what
you want, too.  What you can let yourself want."

Chris is quiet for a long, long time, the only sound that of the
water.  Then he turns the water down and opens the shower door. 
"Come in?"

Nick looks at Chris, but only his face.  "Are you sure?"

"Yeah.  I'm sure about this much."

Nick takes off his clothes and gets in the shower with Chris.  He
looks, of course, but it's not dirty.  He rubs the coarse fabric of
the washcloth against Chris's back, too, scrubbing away the sweat. 
That's not dirty either.  It's not even dirty when he hugs Chris
tight, and they're both naked and slippery against each other, and
both a little interested, physically.

Chris is really okay about this part.  Because he feels just about
exactly the same way Nick feels, only he can't let himself act on
it.  And he wants Nick as close as he can get him until then.

Nick finishes rinsing his hair.  "You're good to shower with," he
notes.

"I don't take up much room and I know how to share the soap?" Chris
jokes.

"Yeah, and you don't scrub too hard or get soap in my eyes."

Chris freezes.  "I'm going to assume for the sake of argument that
that remark was perfectly innocent and refers to a time in the long
distant past."

Nick smiles softly.  "You can assume it was my younger brother, if
you'd like.  We used to perform together."

"Okay.  I can deal with that."

"Aaron's really sweet.  You'd love him.  He's a joker."

"I dunno.  Maybe I'll find out I just have a thing for young
blondes and decide to scourge my eyes from their sockets."

Nick frowns.  "Do you like Justin and Lance, too, then?"

"Not like that."

"Good," Nick says, and doesn't care how possessive he sounds.

Chris passes Nick a towel.  "Besides, they're not real blondes."

"True."  Nick starts drying off.  Then he blushes, thinking of how
Chris is now *certain* he's a natural blonde.  Nick grins.

Chris drops the towel on the floor and goes out to grab a pair of
boxers, which he pulls on.  "You know, I feel the same way about
you, right?  I want you.  I don't think I should, but I do."

Nick pulls on sweats.  "I'm glad you do," he says.

"Yeah, well."  Chris rummages for a shirt.  "I don't have the right
to ask you to wait.  But I kinda don't want to think about you with
anyone else either."

Nick laughs.  "I don't wanna think about me with anyone else,
either.  But, y'know.  It's probably gonna be a long time before
you feel right about wanting me.  I'd understand if you needed to
be with someone before then."  He gets into the bed.  "I wouldn't
like to think about it, but I'd understand."

Chris follows him.  Climbs in with Nick and kisses him.  "So, you
what?  Wanna be my boyfriend?"

"Yeah, I do.  But I'm saying.  If you need to sleep with someone
else.  That's okay."

"If I was hypothetically gonna get with someone else, I wouldn't be
sleeping with them.  And having sex with them wouldn't be half what
sleeping with you is."

"Aw, so sweet.  What a--" Nick yawns, "a gentleman."

"Shuddup.  I am not."

"Mmhmm, are too."

"Go to sleep before I molest you."

Nick smiles and drifts off.

Chris is kinda disappointed.

~~~~

Nick wakes in the middle of the night.  His knees hurt so badly it
brings tears to his eyes.  He whimpers quietly and tries not to
move.

Soft noises of pain wake Chris up.  He's not a heavy sleeper under
the best of circumstances, and Nick actually makes it more
difficult for him to sleep, not easier.  But then, he's used to
waking up multiple times.  He just makes sure Nick's there and
asleep and goes back to sleep.

This time, though, Nick isn't asleep.

"You okay?" Chris asks.

Nick nods.  "Sorry," he whispers.  "My legs."

"Should've let me molest you like I was gonna do earlier."  Chris
sits up.  "Lie down on your back."

"No, Chris.  Go back to sleep, sweetheart."  Nick's tired.  So
tired he could probably pass out again in a few minutes.  Or hours.

Chris moves to the middle of the bed.  "Lie down.  Us old people
don't need as much sleep."

Nick sighs and lies flat.  "I'm really sorry I woke you up," he
says quietly.

"I wake up a lot anyway."  Chris starts rubbing Nick's thighs with
long strokes of his palms.

Nick gasps and then sighs.  "Why's that?"

"Way I grew up.  I'm actually kinda more used to sleeping together
for warmth than not.  All that stuff we tell people, like about how
I grew up?  That's mostly true, only a little prettied up for
print.  It doesn't say anything about me shoplifting or Mom
practically prostituting herself so we'd have someplace other than
the car to sleep.  It's true, but it's an ugly kinda true, y'know? 
Like how some of our audience is old dudes who are really there to
see you and Justin."

"Lance," Nick adds, "because he's so pretty."

"Lance, too.  Not as much, but yeah."

"I think Lance more."

Chris moves down to Nick's knees, working on the muscles to the
side and under.  "You got a thing for Lance?"

Nick whimpers.  "No, told you.  Just you."

"Ssh."  Chris softens his touch.  "You're okay.  I was just...
okay, I wasn't exactly teasing, but I'm not... okay, so maybe I'm
trying to redirect you to a more appropriate outlet than myself. 
But it doesn't mean I want you to go."

"Not going, not going.  Don't want them."

Chris kisses Nick's knees.  "Okay.  It's okay.  How about it?  You
Nick, you boyfriend."

Nick smiles and reaches out to touch Chris's mussed hair.  "Chris. 
Boyfriend."

Chris smiles up at him and moves down to knead Nick's calves. 
"Yep."

Nick sighs.  "Fuck, you've got good hands."

"Nah.  I just have a really good idea of what you're going through. 
That's all.  Thank God, I'm not growing still."

"I think I might get tall," Nick admits sadly.

Chris snorts.  "You think?"

"Yeah."  And then he sighs heavily.  "I wanted to stay little."

"Why's that?"

"Easier to hide."

Chris doesn't stop rubbing, but he does look up.  "Why do you want
to hide, baby?"

"Sometimes it's easier than answering questions.  Sometimes it's
nice to only be seen by the people you want looking."

Chris chuckles and looks back down.  "Sorry, that's not ever gonna
happen.  We're headed for the big time and everyone's gonna be
looking."

"It's okay.  I'm used to it now."

"Yeah, well.  Tell me when it gets to be too much.  I'm not saying
I can do anything about it.  But I'll try."

"As long as you're the one looking from the closest, it's okay,"
Nick says, smiling.

"You like me way too much," Chris grumbles, finishing at Nick's
feet.  "I need to do more evil things to you so you're properly
wary of me."

"Sure, you do that."

"You wouldn't buy it, would you?" Chris says, resigned.

"Sure, I would.  But then I'd just have to start sleeping naked."

"Yeah, go ahead.  Break my brain like that."  Chris comes back up
to where Nick is lying, making no attempt to keep from touching
him.

Nick shifts, pulls Chris down between his legs and clings.

Chris settles himself.  "Yeah, you want something maybe?"

"I want you, no maybe about it."

Chris gazes down at Nick, then nods and kisses him.  On the lips
this time, soft and coaxing.

Nick opens his mouth and follows Chris's lead.  His hands run
gently up and down Chris's back.

When Nick's lips open, Chris follows his lead, licking inside his
mouth.  Still easy, but not nearly so innocent.

Nick kisses until his lips tingle with it.  He kisses through
smiles and giggles and soft almost-moans.  God, it feels wonderful. 
Thick and heavy, like a quilt on a winter night.

Chris slides off Nick reluctantly.  "Think you can get back to
sleep now?"

Nick moans.  "Never!"  He smiles at Chris.  "If you stay with me,
then yeah.  I feel safe with you."

"I wasn't planning on leaving, duh."

Nick smiles.  "Good.  Mine."

"Awfully possessive, aren't you?" Chris says, putting an arm over
Nick and curling up.  "I like it."

"Mine," Nick declares again.

"Yours," Chris says and closes his eyes.

Nick closes his eyes and listens to Chris breathe.  It takes a long
while for him to fall asleep, but it's comfortable.

~~~~

The next morning Chris intends to tell everyone about things and
the way things have changed, but the next morning is crazy busy and
it's really more like a week before he finds time.

Chris'd wanted to do it all formal and sitdown so everyone
understood that he, Chris Kirkpatrick, oppressor of children, is
going to debauch a complete innocent, namely Nick.  That way
everyone could know to watch him and, like, kick him if he got out
of line.

Except there isn't any good time and so it's the middle of hackey
when Chris blurts out, "Me and Nick are sleeping together and we're
boyfriends and we're going to fuck."

Nick misses the hackey.

Joey hits Chris in the shoulder.  "Dumbass."

"What?" Chris protests.

"Bad timing.  Plus, I don't think you should *fuck*.  Have sex
maybe, or make love or some shit.  Don't fuck Nicky."

Nick blushes bright red.  "Shut up, Joey.  You don't have *any*
room to talk."

It's Justin's turn to blush and he whines, "Nicky!"

Lance starts laughing at them all.

Chris looks from Justin to Joey, then back to Nick.  "You said they
weren't fucking!"

"I didn't think they were!  Just sexing each other, mildly.  But
they still don't get to say what we do.  At least you're my
boyfriend and you don't hit on anyone else!"

Chris looks accusingly at Joey.  "You hit on people other than
Justin?"

Joey stammers, "W-well, like.  Like clubs, y'know.  And, I mean,
Justin's always flirting, too!"

Justin nods.  "Yeah, with girls."

Chris looks between them.  "I suppose if you're both cheating on
each other, then that's all right-- no, it's not.  That's still
icky.  Stay away from my boyfriend.  I don't want him to get any
fucked up ideas of how he's supposed to be."

Nick grins.  "C'mon.  Let's go dance."

Chris smirks at him.  "You have to kick the hacky first."

Nick drops and kicks the goddamn hacky.

~~~~

Nick is on his heels as Chris enters their room.  The show'd been
the same as always, but there's been a an air of anticipation
between them ever since Chris' little announcement.

Chris drops his bag and turns to Nick, holding up his hand. 
"Shower first, okay?"

Nick takes Chris's hand and nods.  "Anything you want," he
whispers.

Chris squeezes Nick's hand.  "Dork.  You're part of this too."

"You know what I want.  I know what I want."

"You want both of us to smell better, too?  Wow.  Great minds
really do think alike."

Nick pulls Chris into the bathroom and starts taking off their
clothes.  "Okay, I was gonna go slow, but it's fucking cold."

Chris bats at Nick's hands.  "Yes, it is.  And I can get my own
clothes off a lot faster than you can.  Get naked and get wet in
the hot water.  This is a good plan, really."

Nick nods and gets undressed without bothering to unbutton
anything.  He just shucks it all and climbs under the water.

Chris joins him, shivering.  "Need to get warm.  Must get warmer."

Nick graciously lets Chris stand directly under the spray.

"Hot!  Hot, hot, hot!  Must get cooler."

Nick snorts and turns them so they're both half in the spray. 
"Dork."

Chris grins at him.  "Yup.  Now get clean already."

"I want to get dirty," Nick says, looking at Chris through his
lashes.

"I wanna get us clean," Chris counters.

Nick heaves a put upon sigh and starts rubbing the soap over
Chris's chest.

Chris puts his hand over Nick's.  "You're not wrong, y'know.  It's
just that I wanna be warmer and cleaner first.  I don't like
sleeping in stale sweat if I don't have to.  Fresh sweat I can deal
with, but not the stale kind."

Nick smiles and keeps rubbing the soap across Chris's skin, careful
to get every part of him clean.  Every part.

"Way too sweet," Chris says and returns the favor.  This isn't a
shower; this is foreplay.  But then, their kisses haven't been
innocent at all this week, and Chris isn't sure which one of them
wants it more.

Nick is so turned on he can't even smile by the time they're clean. 
"Take me to bed, Chris," he orders.

"Pushy, pushy," Chris teases, dropping the towel he'd used to dry
Nick and steering him toward the bed.

Nick jumps onto the bed and scoots under the covers.  "This is a
fucking cold country, Chris.  It's *wrong*."

"What's wrong?  That it's cold?  That's kinda normal, y'know.  More
normal than Orlando anyway."  Chris follows Nick under the covers,
sitting up and looking down at him.  "So you looking for me to be
the all-knowing dispenser of sexual wisdom, debaucher of innocents,
or should I just lie back and prepare to be amazed?"

"I think you should just be you," Nick says, curling against Chris. 
"Do what you feel."

"But how are you gonna explain the bite marks?" Chris asks, knee
crossing over Nick's thigh.  He looks at Nick like an outspread
feast, with each selection more delicious and succulent than the
last.

Nick shivers.  "Monkey bites," he says seriously.

"We don't have a monkey," Chris saying, settling in and sucking on
Nick's neck.

Nick tilts his head back.  "So?"  He draws the covers over them.

"Lies should be plausible," Chris says and bites gently.  No marks
for later, and anyway, he doesn't know yet if Nick likes biting or
not.

"Like anyone'd care."  Nick sighs.  "I wish it were warm so I could
look at you everywhere."

"You didn't look while I was in the shower?  Bad Nick."  Chris runs
his fingers lightly along Nick's ribs.

Nick laughs.  "I did.  I wanna look more."  He wraps his arms
around Chris's neck.  "That a problem?"

"Nope.  Want me to lie down so you can look all you want?"

"Too cold.  I'll just learn it by touch."  Nick pulls Chris lower
and kisses him some more.

"You can, if you want," Chris says, breaking away from Nick's
mouth.  "Get dressed even and look."

"No.  Not tonight.  Tonight is for doing."

Chris smiles.  "Yeah."

Nick grins.  "So do me, already!"

"What does 'do me' mean?" Chris asks, eyes serious.

"Sex, Chris.  Let's have sex.  However you want."

Chris looks at Nick for a long moment and then nods.  "Okay.  I'll
take that for an answer.  But I'm still... you don't want to be a
pretty child, but I look at you and think about protecting you and
taking care of you.  So I'm not gonna jump right in here.  Even if
you've been whoring your ass out on street corners when I haven't
been looking."  He winks to let Nick know that's a joke.  "So,
yeah.  If I'm moving too slow for you, that's why and feel free to
kick my ass, okay?"

"Sure.  But I don't mind slow, Chris.  I like it, sometimes."

Chris shakes his head.  "Children these days.  God help us."  But
he smiles and moves closer to Nick, rubbing his dick against Nick's
hip as he kisses him.

Nick hooks his leg over Chris's and moans into the kiss.  So damn
nice.  It's been ages since anyone touched Nick and it feels like
the first time all over again.

Ever since that morning when Chris reached for Nick's cock and got
turned down, he's been thinking about it.  He moves just enough so
that he can get his hand down between them and starts exploring. 
"Let me," he says when Nick's hands start moving, like Nick wants
to do something for Chris back.  "I wanna see you and feel you."

Nick laughs.  "Um.  Sure, yes.  Go for it."  He's not sure what to
do with his hands now, though.  He lets them fall back to the
mattress and rides Chris's movements.  "Fuck, yes."  He's so hard,
so ready.  The shower was lovely and all, but Nick's control is far
from limitless.  "Jesus, I'm close."

"Good," Chris says, licking Nick's chest.  Nick's responding to
every twitch of his hand.  He's got his eyes shut and he's moaning. 
"I've been wanting this ever since I touched you and you said no."

Nick arches against Chris's mouth.  "So hot.  Fuck, it was hard to
say no."

"Glad you did.  Wanted you, but I'm glad you could say no. 
Y'know?"  Chris supposes Nick probably doesn't know, since there's
little to no chance that Nick can understand a thing he's saying
with the way Nick's hips are moving.  "C'mon, baby.  Just like
that.  C'mon."

Nick moans and tosses his head against the sheet.  "Chris, Chris,
please!  Faster, please?"

Nick begging...  Chris shivers.  *That's* amazing.  "Sure.  Just a
second."  He moves his hand slower, but doesn't let go as he twists
around so he can get his mouth on Nick's cock.  He lets go then,
and wraps his arms under Nick's thighs, encouraging Nick to let go
and thrust as he pleases.

"Oh, ChrisChrisChrisChrisChris!" Nick wails.  His hips jerk as he
fights not to push into Chris's face too hard.  Chris touches him
and makes an affirmative sound and Nick's gone.  His voice breaks
as he praises Chris and God and everything in between.

There's something intensely pleasing about Nick thrusting hard into
his mouth, trusting Chris to take it.  He swallows gleefully.

Nick stays tense for a long moment before slumping back to the
mattress.  "Holy shit," he breathes.

Chris crawls back up and pulls the blanket over them again, even
though Nick doesn't need it, what with the warm flush rosy on his
skin.  He settles down and draws Nick in close.  "Good?"

"Oh, yeah," Nick sighs, smiling and rubbing against Chris like a
lazy cat.  "Real good."

"Good.  So, not that there's any pressure or anything, but uh, how
about me?"

Nick grins.  "I'm feeling awfully lazy.  How 'bout you just fuck
me?"

Chris nearly swallows his tongue.  "That's, um.  A lot faster than
I was planning to move."

"Well, I suppose I can get unlazy for a kiss."  Nick smiles.

"A kiss?  Just a kiss?"  Chris nearly whimpers, but, hey, he's an
adult.  He can handle this.  "Okay, yeah.  That's fine.  Just a
kiss."

Nick laughs again and kisses Chris softly.  He tastes himself and
moans.  As soon as he breaks the kiss, he slides down under the
blankets, kneeling next to Chris's hips.  He bends low and takes
Chris into his mouth.

"Oh!  Oh, that kind of kiss.  Yes.  Please, yes."

Nick nearly laughs, but his mouth is a little busy.

Chris goes silent, or at least he loses conscious control of his
voice.  All of his attention is on Nick's mouth and the feel of it
on him.  Nick wasn't lying when he said he had experience, and
Chris chooses to believe that all of Nick's experience was
voluntary and good for Nick.

Nick gets Chris slick and plays for a while.  It's been a long time
since Nick did this, and he needs to reacquaint his mouth with the
feeling.  When he's got a rhythm, he starts taking Chris deeper.

When Nick takes him deeper, Chris loses his mind.  Grunting, unable
to form words, he comes.

Nick swallows, keeping Chris deep.  He finally pulls away with a
last, long suck, and makes his way back up to the cool air above
the blankets.

Chris lies there, too sated to raise his heavy arms.  "C'mere?"

Nick curls up against Chris' side.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Thank *you*."

Nick giggles quietly.  "My *pleasure*."

"Yeah?"  Chris finds the strength to mold himself to Nick.  "Remind
me to have a long in-depth conversation with you later over your
sexual history."

Nick lets that go, humming quietly and cuddling close to Chris.

Chris takes that as a yes, but he feels too much like going to
sleep to bother about it now.  "Warm," he tells Nick.  "Sleep."

Nick closes his eyes.  Chris starts snoring before he does.  Nick
grins.

~~~~

"No, Mr. Pearlman, that's no problem.  He'll be right over."  Jane
hangs up the phone.  "Nick, you have to go practice now.  Right
now."

Nick looks up.  He feels like total crap.  Every part of him aches. 
They're a German success story, shouldn't they get time off in the
U.S.?  "Yes, mom," is what he says, though.  And he drives to the
warehouse.

Chris wants to be sleeping in.  But sleeping in has been trained
out of him, so instead of being happily unconscious, he's staring
groggily at a bathroom mirror instead.

He misses Germany.  Or, more accurately, he misses Nick.  He sees
Joey and Lance all the time, 'cause they're rooming together.  But
Nick and Justin a whole lot less.  And Nick even less than Justin.

It really kinda sucks.  So do five a.m. phone calls.

Nick walks into the warehouse and there's someone Lou wants him to
meet.  That is not a good thing.  Not at all.  It's some recording
person, which is okay.  And then he starts trying to grab Nick,
which isn't.  Not any more.  Nick evades politely and leaves as
soon as he can.  He goes to Chris, because he just wants to.

Chris throws an arm around Nick's shoulder.  Thank Justin he'd
beaten Nick here.  "So," he says through a forced smile, "looks
like I got here just in time."  He'd broken as many speed limits as
traffic allowed to get here after Justin had called him and given
the tip-off about a 'private' photography session Lou had arranged. 
Justin has a lot of good sense left over from his MMC days.

Nick leans against Chris.

Chris doesn't drop his smile.  "For future reference, when you get
told to come in and it isn't on the schedule, call somebody.  Me,
preferably."

Nick sighs.  "I can't do that, Chris.  My mom," he says tiredly.

"What about her?"

"She knows what I'm here for."

"Okay..." Chris says slowly.  "Putting that aside for the moment,
do you know why you're here?"

Nick looks at Chris, and the look is tired.

"Yeah, so okay, it's obvious.  But nothing's gonna happen now.  And
what I'm really asking is did you know when you came down here, or
not until you got here?"

"When I got here."

Chris swears.  At length and creatively, all the while with the
smile still on his face.  When he's calm again, he says
conversationally, "So, how attached are to your mother?  Not in the
sense of how deep her claws are into you, 'cause that's obvious. 
But how much would you miss her if things change?"

Nick closes his eyes.  "She's been the person with the biggest say
in my life for my *whole* life."

"Yeah, but do you want it like that?"

"I don't *know* anything else, Chris!"

"You know us."

Nick looks at Chris.  "What are you really asking, baby?"

"I think you should go for legal emancipation.  If you even need it
at your age.  Sever the ties with her and handle things yourself. 
You can't do worse."  Chris lets his tone carry the irony he can't
put into his expression with people watching.

"Chris.  Chris, I was legally declared an adult before I met you."

Chris closes his eyes.  "That young, huh?"

"Remember when Justin had to leave rehearsals because he wasn't
allowed to work any longer as a minor?  I never left."

"Call me stupid, but I thought it was a game for you or something. 
That you liked it."

"I do.  I did.  I fucking love it.  But since I've been with you,
I don't want the rest of it.  I just want you."

"I don't want you here on your own.  I don't want the person
looking out for you to be someone who cares less about you than
about what peddling your ass can get her."

Nick smiles shyly.  "Maybe I should stick with you, since you want
my ass all for yourself?"

"You should.  I want you to."

"Speaking of peddling our asses.  I was sort of wondering where all
the ass-payment is."

"Ass payment?"

"The money."

"Well, it..."  Chris stops and thinks about it.  "I don't know how
it works for you, what with your mother and all, but Lou's been
giving Joey and me money.  Not a lot, though."

"Right.  We made a lot of money, right?"

"Maybe?  We've had a lot of expenses, too."

"Okay."  Nick sighs.  "Hey.  Wanna go back to your place and make
out?"

"Love to."

"Great.  You drive."

Chris turns them around and walks out.  He gives Lou a toothy smile
when Lou looks his way.  He and Lou have a sort of understanding
about these things.  And part of that is that none of them do
anything alone.  That understanding got broken today.

Nick is quiet on the drive and quiet on the way to Chris's room. 
And then he pounces.  "Hey," he says, laying on the bed with Chris
over him.

"Hey yourself," Chris says, nuzzling Nick's throat.

Nick tilts his head back.  "I love you."

Chris feels an inexplicable urge to apologize.  "Same back at you."

Nick smiles.  "Thank you."

Chris rubs his thumb along Nick's jaw.  "Nothing to thank me for. 
You're very loveable."

"But you said it."

"Means that much to you to hear it from me, huh?"

"Yeah.  You had a choice."

"No.  I didn't.  Remember when I tried to put a blanket over you to
keep you warm?"

"You chose to love me," Nick insists.

"It really wasn't a choice.  I already loved you then, or I'd never
have gotten in bed with you.  I just made a choice to admit it. 
And do something about it."

"I like the things you do about it," Nick purrs

Chris grins.  "*That* choice I stand by fully."