Pairing: Lance and Chris
Words: impotent; heckle; phenomenon; interim


Justin swung onto the bus.  "Hi!" he called out, throwing his
duffle on one of the couches.

"Nobody here but us chickens," Chris said, coming out from the
back, lollipop in his mouth.

"Bwock, bwock, bwock!"

Chris grinned at him, took the lollipop out of his mouth and
bwocked back at him.

Justin struck a pose in the aisle and sang, "I want you bwock!"

"Bwock me!" Chris said, throwing himself back in a fake swoon. 
"It's Justin Timberbwock!"

Justin sat down next to him, just as Chris sat back up.  His
lollipop was stuck to the couch.  Chris made a face, then pulled
until it came unstuck, and then held it up and examined it.  "I
dunno," Justin said.  "I think that J. Chicken Chasez guy is pretty
sexy."

Chris looked offended.  "No way.  Once you've gone Kirkbwocktrick,
you never go back."  He shrugged and stuck the lollipop back in his
mouth.

"That's 'cause no one ever *wants* to go back to you."

Chris stuck out his bright red tongue.  "Shut up.  Betcha can't
bwock the other guys."

He thought about it.  "Lance is impossible."

"Lance frequently is."

"Joey Bwocktone."

"I don't think you can fit a bwock into Lance."  Chris made a
squeezing motion with his hands.  "He's all soft."

Justin elbowed him.  "Don't squeeze the Lance."

"No, I got it!  He's Lance Bwock, and we're N'Chicken, the Lords of
the Chicken Run!"

He snickered.  "Nah, man, we're obviously N'Bwock."

Lance got on the bus just in time to hear that pronouncement, and
to see Justin collapsing in giggles as Chris sang "Digital, digital
bwockdown!"  He raised his eyebrows, and set his laptop down.

"Lance!  It's Lance Bwock!"

"And he's bwocking for da Lord!"

"Both of you," Lance said.

They folded their hands in an exaggerated pretense of
attentiveness, staring at him.

"Never talk to JC.  Ever."

"Why not?" Justin asked, offended.

"Why?" Chris asked, then snorted.  "Dude.  Naked Chicken Pants. 
You know he'd do it."

"Inquiring minds want to bwock," Justin said.  "C'mon, Lance, tell
us."

"You are not of the Bwock," Chris said in the deepest voice he
could manage.  "You do not know the POWER of the BWOCK!"

"I still want to know why we're not allowed to talk to JC."

"Me too.  Lance.  Laaaaance.  I promise we won't ruin his
impressionable mind."

Justin looked at Chris.  "Maybe it's because he'd run with the
bwocking?"

"After all, he already wears feathers."

Justin snorted.  "Featherbrain!"

"You'd give him ideas," Lance said, doing his best impression of
Dignified Man Ignoring Hecklers.

"What kind of ideas?" Justin asked.  "Share!"

"Space Chicken!  Yippie-yi-yi-bwock!"

Justin started beatbwocking, as Chris went through the lyrics. 
"Take a space ride, with the chicken."

"I'm going to switch back," Lance threatened, but he didn't pick up
the phone, and Justin and Chris ignored him.  "Fine.  Be that way."

"We will!  Hey, what do you think of the Bwockstreet Boys?"

Chris pretended to consider it, chomping on the end of the
lollipop.  "Nah.  They keep claiming they're not a boy bwock.  They
don't deserve to be part of the chicken phenomenon."

"Damn.  I kinda wanted to bwock Nick."

Chris waggled his eyebrows, and threw the lollipop stick on the
table.  "Oh, yeah.  We all know about you and your obsession with
bwocking Nick."

"Hey!  I'm not going to bwock Nick."

"You're not?"  Chris put his hand on Justin's forehead.  "You don't
*feel* feverish.  Is it, y'know, a personal problem?  Because they
have ways of treating impotence nowadays."

"Yo.  I am not impotent."

"You're not?  But you aren't going to bwock Nick."

"That would be because I'm not *gay*."

"Just us chickens here."  Chris snickered at that before returning
to his train of thought.  "You don't have to tell us that.  We'll
be fully accepting of your gayness.  Right, Lance?"

Lance ignored the freaks on the couch.

"I am *not* gay."

"You're not?  You're really, for truly, 100% straight?"

"Yes!  That's what I'm saying!"

"Okay.  So..."

"Yeah?" Justin asked cautiously.

"Have you thought about JC as your interim gay lover?  Y'know, as
a step between straightness and Nick?  Because..."

Justin hit him over the head with a pillow.  "Bwock you, dude.  You
are *so* not allowed to watch 'In And Out' anymore."

"Or 'Chicken Run'," Lance added.

"Hey!" Chris protested.

Justin stalked off.  Chris tried to keep him there by leaping from
the couch and holding onto his ankle, "Bwock me, J!  Take the
bwocking to the next level!" but Justin shook him off and went back
to his bunk.

"Hmm," Chris said, picking himself up off the floor.  He looked at
the bunk area, then at the couch, then at Lance, who was studiously
contemplating the screen of his laptop.

"Don't even think about it, Chris."

Chris grinned at him, and threw himself into Lance's lap.  He
wrapped his arms around Lance's neck.  "Bwock me, you big hot Bass
of love!"

"It'd serve you right if I did," Lance said, looking over his head.

Chris leaned up and kissed him.  Lance kissed him bwock.