Pairing: Chris and Joey
Words: depress; flawless; chuckle; painkiller


"Damnit, Chris, hold *still*.  This won't hurt."

"Will so, will so, will so.  Liar, liar, pants on fire."

Joey glowers at Chris.  "You moron.  Just sit down."

"Make me!" Chris yells mutinously.  

Joey grits his teeth, grabs Chris by the shoulders and forces him
to sit down on the couch.  Then he realizes -- he can hold Chris on
the couch, but he's not gonna be able to get the drops or put them
in as long as Chris is fighting him.  "Damnit.  Do you *have* to be
this difficult?"

"Yes.  This way you appreciate me more."  Chris squirms half over
the arm of the couch before Joey pulls him back.  

"Oh, I appreciate you," Joey says grimly, sitting down on top of
Chris.  "The same way someone appreciates a head cold."

Chris oofs and struggles and finally lays still when he can't catch
his breath.  "Help!"  

Joey chuckles.  "We're the only ones here, Kirkpatrick.  Who're you
calling on for help?"

"My godly relatives, who will smite you!"  

"Since when do you got godly relatives?"  Joey risks letting go of
Chris long enough to grab the drops.

Chris struggles, but can't escape.  "In antiquity... the
Kirkpatrick Clan always married gods!"  He grunts and tugs at his
hands.  "Let *go*!"  

"Nuh-uh.  You were the one bellyaching that you needed painkillers
'cause you got something in your eye."

"Well, I did.  It's, like, glass or something.  I probably have a
scratched cornea."  Chris goes still.  "They took it out, but it
*hurts*!  I didn't think they'd give me drops."  He pouts.  "I hate
drops, Joey!"  

"I can tell.  But you need them.  So keep your ass on the couch and
I'll put them in for you."

Chris closes his eyes tight, even though it burns in the left one. 
"How do I know you won't mar my flawless countenance?"  

Joey sighs.  "They're just eyedrops.  Not acid.  C'mon, open your
eyes."

Chris does.  "I'm gonna blink," he warns.  

"On purpose or because you can't help it?"

"Because I can't help it.  You've *seen* me put in my contacts."  

"Yeah."  Joey considers it.  "Open your eyes big and wide like
you've just seen something you can't believe."

Chris does, pretending not to be afraid.  He just-- hates the
thought of stuff in his eyes.  

Joey unscrews the cap and leans down over Chris.  "No, bigger. 
Like you just saw Justin macking on Lance."

Chris's eyes go even wider and then he chuckles with glee.  Perfect
blackmail... if it were real.  

Joey grins.  "Good."  He squeezes the bottle.  Just when Chris'
eyelid trembles, like it's gonna blink, his free hand cups Chris'
groin and squeezes, too.

That works.  Chris couldn't blink now if his eyes were on fire.  

"That's right," Joey croons.  "Just one more."

"Eep."  

Chris' eyes are trying to cross, but they're still open, so Joey
doesn't say anything, just tips the second drop in Chris' eye, then
sits back on his heels, letting go of Chris and putting the cap
back on the tiny bottle.  "All done."

Chris closes his eyes tightly again pressing the heels of his hands
against them until the burning ends.  "Thanks."  

Joey stands up and puts the bottle away.  "Hey, no problem.  Any
time."

"I don't like that," Chris says calmly.  

"I noticed."

"You groped me," Chris adds, focusing on the more important issue. 


"You noticed."

"Yes, yes I did.  Just to distract me?"  

Joey gives Chris a bland look.  "We're straight, remember?"

Chris manages to pry his eyes open.  "You're mean.  You're trying
to depress me so I'm easier to control."  

Joey holds up his hands.  "Hey, man.  I already got the drops in. 
I'm done trying to control you."

"Oh.  Okay."  Chris sits up slowly, shaking his head.  "My eye is
numb.  That just feels weird."  

"You're weird."

"Yep."  Chris stands up and rushes Joey, pinning him to the wall. 
"Fair play, and all."  He gropes Joey thoroughly.  "Have a nice
day!"  Chris bounces out of the room to go harass Justin.  

Joey grins and grabs himself a beer.  Chris kicks and screams and
carries on like a two-year-old, but there's a reason why Joey
always volunteers to do these kinds of things.

Because Chris isn't a two-year-old.

Joey adjusts himself and saunters after Chris.