Pairing: Lance and Howie
Words: pelvis; braids; juncture; crunch


Mostly, he was just tired.  That was the first thing he noticed,
and it wasn't very remarkable, because they were all tired.  Justin
was popular, Chris was intense, JC was intenser, Joey was sleeping
with anything that moved, and they were tired.

Brilliant detective work.  Right up there with 'water wet' and
'fire hot'.  Next he was going to be predicting the future: 'Things
will change', 'Someone you know will get older'.  If the NSYNC
thing didn't pan out, he had a career waiting for him in writing
fortune cookies.

When he passed out at the Disney concert, Lance thought 'Shit
happens, so bring toilet paper' seemed to cover the present
situation, but then things were going grey, and he didn't have to
think anymore.

****

Because they'd been working so hard, and his heart had nearly given
out under the stress, NSYNC was given time off from their grueling
schedule.  The Easter Bunny was also real, and in cahoots with the
Tooth Fairy, who was collecting the discarded enamel of the world's
children for use in a project to pave a highway from Monterey to
Maui so that people who were afraid of flying could drive to
Hawaii.

As truths went, it was right up there with, "Managers are there to
help struggling young artists become successful, because everyone
benefits when a new artist succeeds."

Lance didn't remember much of the lawsuit.  For him, it was
straight from the hospital to the stage to the courtroom to the
recording studio and back to the courtroom.  When he wasn't
actively doing something, he was mostly occupied with trivial
things, like breathing, and every so often, sleeping.  Being
unconscious, though, was mostly a luxury of people who thought fame
was glamorous.  Chris had told him in the hospital to make the most
of his little vacation.  Joey had whapped Chris and told him to
stop kidding, but Lance thought it was one of the truer things he'd
heard.

The corollary to 'May you live in interesting times' was 'You get
to rest when you're dead'.

He'd almost made it.

****

Lance figured out that he was gay shortly after Chris cut off his
braids.

It was a little late in life to be discovering things like that
about himself, but Lance was an excellent liar.  And, the thing
was, once you learned to lie to yourself, everyone else was easy;
you, after all, knew the truth.

But when Chris cut his hair, he went from irredeemably dorky to hot
all at once, and the change was too sudden for Lance to ignore,
unlike, say, Justin's pelvis, which was a force of nature to be
sure, but one which had been around so long that it had faded into
the background and was simply an inalienable truth.  'Fire hot'. 
'Water wet'.  'Justin sexy'.

'Chris hot', though, was entirely new, and it didn't turn Lance
gay, but it forced him to wake up and admit, "Yes, I would like to
date that, and please God, let it be soon."

Chris, however, had a girlfriend.

Lance pointedly didn't mention the saying, 'Life's a bitch, then
you date one', to Chris.  But he thought it a lot.

****

When Joey got hurt, it changed a lot of things.  The way they did
their show, the relationship of Wade to the group and the way Joey
looked at Lance.

He hadn't thought he was being obvious.  He hadn't thought he was
being anything but a good friend, because that was what Joey was to
him.  A good friend, maybe his best friend, and nothing more. 
Lance didn't want anything more from Joey; he'd learned his lesson
with Chris.  Lusting after your straight bandmates was stupid, and
wondering whether they might be only mostly straight might make
good jerk-off material, but nothing more.

He saw the accident happen, but it was the sound of the trap door
crunching shut on Joey's leg that he wasn't going to forget.

Lance made it to Joey's side the fastest, but he was the closest. 
And he was concerned, yes, but everyone was.  He tried to help; got
out of the way when it was obvious he wasn't helping, and
threatened people all the way to the hospital.  Which was exactly
the same thing Chris was doing, Lance was sure, except he hadn't
had the attention to spare for Chris, not when Joey was bloody and
broken.  It was a traumatic thing, seeing what looked like someone
having their leg cut off in a freak accident, and a near-tragedy
for a dancer.  

He remembered seeing Justin crying in the hospital corridor, and JC
with his hand on his shoulder.  Remembered Chris pacing.  He'd had
time to see that, because Joey had been in surgery and they'd all
had to wait.  They'd all reacted to what happened, and they'd all
nearly fallen over Joey in relief when he'd emerged pale and shaken
but smiling.  Justin had still had tears in his eyes, and Chris had
hugged Joey, hard and quick.  It wasn't so strange that Lance had
held onto his hand like he didn't want Joey to go -- Joey had very
nearly went.

But he was the one Joey had pulled aside afterward and talked to. 
As in, 'You're gay; not that there's anything wrong with that -- as
long as you don't look at me, don't touch me, and if humanly
possible, don't breathe the same air as me'.  Joey hadn't used
those exact words, but Lance hadn't lost his keen sense for the
obvious.

'One is the loneliest number' was true, but five could be a pretty
lonely number, too.

****

Howie said things like "at this juncture" and "critical ventures". 
Things that wouldn't fit well on a fortune cookie.  Unlike Lance,
he didn't try to hide that he was gay, except from people like
reporters, who were only barely classifiable as human anyway.

He was counter-intuitive.  He didn't make sense; it was impossible
to say where their relationship was going, if it was going
somewhere at all.  Howie didn't use relationship cliches, and
didn't make promises.

Lance kinda liked that about him.