Pairing: Joey and Chris
Words: mouthpiece; mitten; aversion; package


To be quite honest, Chris has been suspicious for some time now.

All right, so he'd been suspicious practically since birth, but in
this case, he's specifically suspicious of Joey. He doesn't know
when the change took place or if Joey has just become less good at
hiding it. It's freaky though.

Chris is convinced that Joey can read his mind.

And not because it's tiny either. He knows that Justin would say
that, but Justin has a pea-sized brain himself. Chris, on the other
hand, has thousands of thoughts going on in his head at any one
time. Millions even. Okay, so the best he can do some days is stand
up out of his bunk and make it to the bathroom without fatally
injuring himself, but really, that's JC's fault. Who else would
leave a pair of pink mittens lying around in the middle of summer,
with their treacherous strings just waiting to catch the unwary
toe?

But still. Joey.

Chris throws himself headfirst at Joey, aiming for his lap. "Joey
joey joey joey!"

Joey catches Chris, settling the other man so as not to smash
Joey's package. He likes Chris, really, but not enough to suffer
dick pain for him. "Hi."

Chris sneaks in cuddles in the form of sneak attacks. It works for
him. "What am I thinking of right now?"

"You don't like being the PR mouthpiece, you think J and C should
do it. You're right. Also, you could just ask for cuddles. I'd
cuddle you."

Chris hmphs. So there! He knew it. "I'm developing a strong
aversion to you. I hate you. A lot."

"No, you don't."

"Do so."

"Nope. Sorry."

Chris sighs and settles in. "Okay, so maybe I don't completely
despise you. But I'm still not forgiving you that easy."

"Forgiving me?"

Chris rolls his eyes. "Yeah. You have this great big secret and you
don't even tell me. That's mean. You've probably been sneaking
around behind my back, laughing with Lance about how pathetic I am.
Like, 'Can you believe he has sexual fantasies about socks?'."

"They're not really fantasies, Chris. Just thoughts."

"You say 'just thoughts', other people go into hysterical laughing
fits. It's not fair."

"You know full well that life isn't fair."

"Fine. Keep being mean to me. I'm leaving."

"No, you're not." Joey tightens his arms and wraps his leg around
Chris's. "I caught you, I'm keeping you."

Chris snuggles in further, hiding his face. He likes to be held,
especially when someone else chooses to do so. It doesn't count if
he has to ask for it. "Yeah, but you don't like me."

"I do so. I wouldn't know what you were thinking if I didn't."

"So you know what all the guys are thinking? And your folks? And
the girl at the 7-11 near your house?"

"No. That would get really tiring."

"So who then?"

"Just you."

"Oh." Chris thinks about that for a moment, then, with impeccable
instincts for knowing how to destroy anything with tools you can
find in your own home, starts sing-songing, "Joey's got a crush on
me. Joey's got a crush on me."

Joey sings along, harmonizing randomly as he watches men's
gymnastics on ESPN.

Chris stops after a few repetitions. It isn't fun when the other
person just plays along.  He pokes Joey instead. "You should be in
love with me."

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Do you know what I'm thinking?"

"No."

"Then I don't think you've put forth the effort necessary for me to
love you."

This time, Chris doesn't say anything about it. He doesn't give
warnings when it's real. He just extricates himself from Joey's lap
and stalks off.

Joey knows Chris is upset. He waits because he also knows Chris
will come back.

Chris isn't gonna go back. Isn't, isn't, isn't. He's pissed off.
Enough to slam the door of his room and lay down on his bed with
his face in the pillow.

Except that's boring after about two nanoseconds, and besides, he's
angry.

He's just not sure whether he's angry at himself or Joey.

"Come sit with me," Joey says without turning from the TV. Chris's
shadow is on the arm of the couch. "C'mon."

"You don't want me to, so no way."

"I do want you to. I wouldn't invite you if I didn't."

"I don't deserve it, remember?"

"No, I said that you hadn't put the effort into me loving you. I
never said that I *didn't* love you, by the way."

Chris kicks the arm of the chair. "Same thing," he says sulkily,
but he feels a little better.

Joey grabs Chris and pulls him down. "Do you realize how closely I
pay attention to everything you do? How d'you think I know what
you're thinking? I'm not psychic. I'm just paying a lot of
attention."

"You're not psychic?"

"Nope."

"But why would you want to pay that much attention to me if you
*weren't* in love with me?" Chris asks, voice still hurt, but
rallying.

"Exactly."

Chris sticks his finger in his ear. "Nope, nothing lodged in there.
So my ears at least are working. I don't get it."

"Yes, you do. Think about it a second."

"Don't," Chris says, without waiting the second. He still feels all
bruised inside.

Joey snugs Chris close, tucking the other man's head under his
chin. "Your earrings are cold," he notes as they brush his neck.

Chris doesn't relax. He gets it now. Not what Joey's talking about,
but he gets why he's upset. If Joey was in love with him, then
maybe it would be safe enough for Chris to love him back. Only it
isn't.

"No, not that, Chris. The *other* answer. I never *said* I didn't
love you. Now. Just turn that thought backwards -- swap the names."

"Why would I want to pay that much attention to you if I wasn't in
love with you?"

"Right. I pay that much attention to you. And you don't to me."

Chris has absolutely no idea what to say. By those terms, he's
already lost, game over. He wishes he'd never noticed Joey's
amazing talents.

"Would you be interested in *starting* to pay that much attention?"
Joey suggests.

Chris shakes his head. It takes him a second to get his tongue back
into working order. "Not when you don't love me. Besides, I've got
a lot of work to do. I need to get started digging that big hole in
the ground to bury myself in."

"Dumbass. I do love you. You can be pretty dense for someone so
intelligent."

"Oh." Chris brightens. "You love me! You think I'm special," he
adds, sing-songing it, "you want to date me."

"Not unless you're willing to make the effort back. It's not safe
for me to love you. But I do."

Chris cocks his head. "Do you or don't you?"

"I do, and I shouldn't. Because you don't back, and you won't risk
anything. It's hard to always be the one taking the risks."

Chris' mouth drops open, and he smacks Joey in the shoulder. "Some
kind of mind reader you are! Of course I do. Idiot."

"No, you don't. You won't let yourself, not completely."

Chris turns so he's crouching over Joey, facing him, and starts
bouncing. "Do so, do so, do so!" In a more normal voice, he adds
quietly, "Now anyway," but doesn't stop bouncing.

Joey rolls his eyes.

Chris grins at him. "You're exasperated, but you love me anyway.
And you can turn me over your knee sometime, sure, but not until
we're having sex, because then it'll be more fun."

Joey laughs. "Cool. Hey, should I get my dick pierced?"

Chris assumes an outraged expression and stops bouncing. "Why? What
did it ever do to you?"

"Chris, that *is* a fantasy. If you jerk off repeatedly while
thinking about it, it's a fantasy."

"I do not jerk off repeatedly thinking of sticking metal things
through your dick. And I don't wanna hear about it either." Chris
cups his hands over his ears, "Lalalalala", he says, sticking his
tongue out.

"Liar," Joey mouths, then kisses Chris to shut him up.