Pairing: Lance and Joey
Words: neurotic; catch; bourgeois; accessory


Lance's face is white when he's ushered onto the bus.  When he sees
Joey, he goes toward him, hands clenching and unclenched.

"Joe, you have to help me.  Something terrible just happened."

Joey immediately hugs Lance close.  "What, baby?"

There's a catch in Lance's voice.  He holds himself very still in
Joey's grasp.  "You... I..."

"What is it, Lance?" Joey asks, starting to get *really* worried.

"She... she's dead."

"What?  Who's dead?" Joey asks, going cold.

"She..." Lance starts trembling.  "The girl in the club.  She's
dead.  And I killed her."

"How did you kill a girl in the club?" Joey asks.  He picks Lance
up, too.  Screw manly pride.  He lifts Lance and carries him to the
couch and sits with the younger man on his lap.

Lance rests his head against Joey's shoulder.  "She was... she
wouldn't leave me alone.  Not that any of them ever do."  His voice
is low and helpless.  Speaking with the deceptive simplicity of a
child.  "She wouldn't go away, no matter how many times Tiny made
her, and I went outside and she was still there, and I told her. 
I told her and she didn't care, and then."  His hands reach out in
unconscious imitation of what happened next.  "And then Tiny was
dragging me away."

"And then what, baby?" Joey asks gently.  He's more than a little
frustrated, but only because of his fear for Lance.  He *needs* to
know what happened.

"And she's dead."

"How did she die?"

"I... I... I just wanted her to understand, Joey.  To make her
realize that she didn't want what she was asking for."  His hands
twist on empty air.  "To make her shut up."

Joey kisses Lance's fingers.  "Tell me?"

"I think I strangled her."

Joey frowns, because that is so unlike Lance.  He never lets his
temper go like that.  "Oh.  It'll..." he stops, because he can't
say it'll be okay.  "I'll take care of you, baby."  And that will
always be true.

Lance nods, a little smile on his face.

Joey stays there, rocking and cooing until Lance falls asleep.  He
leaves a note and steps off the bus.  "Tiny?"  The big guard
answers immediately, like he was waiting.  "What the hell is
happening?" Joey asks.

Tiny gives him a raised eyebrow look.  "Don't know what you mean."

"Lance comes in saying he killed some girl, and you don't know what
I mean?"

Tiny gives him a look like he thinks Joey's playing some kind of
elaborate joke on him.  "No, sir.  I have no idea what you mean."

"Tiny!" Joey screams.  And he keeps screaming, for everyone from
Lonnie to Justin to Johnny.  He wants answers *now*.

It's not very much longer before Lonnie and Tiny and Dre are all
holding Joey down on the ground and someone's calling for the tour
doctor to administer a sedative.

It's some time later when Chris is sitting across from Joey in an
all-too quiet bus lounge, with the sound of traffic nearly blocking
out the noise of the bus engine.

"Hey," Chris says.  "You calm enough to make sense now?"

"What the fuck happened to Lance," Joey says carefully.  "And I
have to go back to him right now."  He starts trying to get to his
feet.

Chris gives him a look.  "Don't even think about it.  You take one
step and I knock you out.  Lance is fine.  What's going on in your
head?"

"Lance came and he was totally freaked out and he said he strangled
some girl."

"Tiny says you said the same thing to him and then you started
screaming.  You wanna maybe explain why you're screaming when both
Tiny and Lance say they have no idea what you're talking about?"

Joey's mouth drops open.  "L-lance says *what*?"

"Lance said he didn't have any idea what you're raving about."

Joey gets up then.  "I'm going to my bus."

"Joe," Chris says gently.  "This *is* your bus."

"Where's Lance?"

"In the back.  Lonnie said he'd rather have all the crazies on the
same bus."

"See?  Lance *is* upset!  Lance!  LANCE!"

Chris passes his hand over his face.  "Why me?  God, why me?  Look,
he's in the back.  For some unnamed reason, he didn't run away from
your nuttiness.  But you have to calm down.  You're scaring me,
too."

Joey shoves his way -- well, staggers really -- to the back of the
bus.

Lance is sitting on the bed, legs stretched out in front of him,
surrounded by the tools of his trade, laptop, printouts, cell
phone, PDAs and pens.  "Hey, Joe," he says, when Joey comes in.

"Lance!"  Joey falls to his knees.  "Lance, what's going on?  You
said you killed a girl."

Lance glances over.  "I'm sorry," he says kindly.  "I was
overwrought.  I didn't know what I was saying.  No one died. 
Everything's fine."

"Lance," Joey whispers.  "What's happening, really?  You know I'll
still love you, baby.  Just tell me."  Not knowing is making Joey
feel insane.

Lance's heart is beating faster than paperwork actually requires. 
"Nothing's happening.  I'm sorry I upset you."

Joey reaches out and takes Lance's face in his hands.  "You have to
tell me, Lance."  He locks gazes with the blonde.  "You have to
tell me.  If you don't, it's just going to build up and hurt you. 
Not to mention, I'm going to go insane."

Lance pulls away.  "Do you really think I'd kill someone and then
tell you about it?  I'd be making you an accessory after the fact
if I did that."

"But I love you.  You love me."

For a moment, Lance's face shows some indefinable emotion, but then
it's back to carefully schooled professionalism.  "Of course I do,
Joey."

Joey's hands fall away.  He sits heavily.

Lance's fingers shake on the keys like an alcoholic with a craving,
but he doesn't look up.

"Please, Lance?"

Lance's hands twitch and the laptop slides off Lance's lap.  He
reaches for it, but only succeeds in knocking it further away, off
the bed and into Joey's lap.  The screen is open and right where
Joey can see it.

Lance freezes.

Joey stares.  He doesn't say anything.  This is Lance's choice to
make.

"Could I please have my laptop back?" Lance asks.  His voice is
less confident now and he's avoiding Joey's gaze.

Joey shakes his head.  "You have to do it yourself," he says
quietly.  "You have to make the choice and do it yourself."

Lance swings his legs over the side of the bed and, leaning down,
shuts the laptop.  "I can't tell you, Joey.  I'm not being
neurotic."  His mouth twists.  "Much.  But I can't.  I won't ruin
your life by dragging you into this.  I want you to be able to say
you don't know anything if it comes to that."

"I'd rather know."

"No one else does.  I have a bodyguard prepared to swear he had me
in sight the entire night.  He even believes it.  No one saw what
happened and enough people were in and out that whatever physical
evidence was left behind is meaningless."  He takes a deep breath. 
"Do you really need to know more?"

"Do you need to tell me more?" Joey asks.  He reaches out and
touches Lance softly.

Lance bites his lip.

Joey lays his head on Lance's knee.  "You know I'll always be there
for you."

"I know."  Lance reaches out tentatively and puts his hand on
Joey's hair.  "What I told you before?  That's all true.  Except
that I didn't even think about it while I was doing it.  I mean, I
thought about it, but I didn't *care*.  She was some cheap, trashy
girl giving it out for free just like nearly everyone else there. 
She was nothing, and she was bothering *me*.  I just couldn't
believe it.  I felt like, who does she think she is?"  He searches
for words to explain how he'd felt -- how he feels a lot of the
time, but almost never when he's with Joey.  "I'm somebody. 
Somebody important.  And she's... bourgeois.  A peasant harassing
royalty and I don't have to take it."

Joey holds Lance's ankle.  "I think it's our fault.  We let you
grow up like this, with this life, and that's exactly what it
teaches you."

Lance nods, but it's no good now.  "I was just cold when it
happened.  Angry, too, but cold angry.  I didn't feel any remorse
at all until afterwards, in the car."

After a second, Lance adds, "Mostly because I was freaked out about
being caught."

Joey looks up.  "What do you think you should do about this?"  He
doesn't ask what to do you *want* to do, or what are you *going* to
do.

"Confess and ruin my life?"  Lance sits up straighter, pulling away
from Joey.  "She was just another fan.  I couldn't even tell you
what she looked like.  What I *should* do.  I have no idea what to
say to that."

"I just want to know what you honestly think you should do."

Lance shakes his head.

"Was it wrong, what you did?"

"Yeah."

"You could plead temporary insanity?"

"Or I could get away with it."

"Yeah.  You could."

Lance nods.

"Is that what you're going to do?"

"Joey..."

"Let me rephrase.  Is that what we're going to do?"

"*We*?"

"I know now.  So are we going to get away with it?"

The alarm on Lance's face passes quickly as the second half of
Joey's statement sinks in.  "I don't want you involved in this."

"I am involved.  I'm glad to be involved."

"Joey.  You can't share the responsibility for this."

"I already do."

Lance looks at Joey with desperate eyes.  "Seriously.  I can't let
you do that."

"Seriously, I already know, baby.  I still love you.  But I need to
know what we're going to do."

Lance's mouth tightens.  "You aren't going to do anything.  I'll
turn myself in.  Plead temporary insanity, even though no one's
going to believe it.  And you'll stay out of it."

"No.  I won't.  I'll go with you.  And I'll be there."

"You can't.  You can't go with me.  It's not your fault.  Joey..." 
Lance is panicked now.  "No.  You can't.  You didn't do anything."

"I won't be in trouble, baby."

Lance wipes at his face.  It's dry.  "You better not be.  You can't
say anything that'd get you in trouble.  I won't let you."

"I haven't done anything that'd get me in trouble," Joey reassures
Lance.  He stands up and hugs Lance close.  "I love you."

Lance leans in, but doesn't hug back.  "I still don't care," he
says quietly.  "Not about her.  I'm doing this for you."

"You're doing it for you," Joey whispers his hope.  "For your
soul."  He tips Lance's face up and kisses him.  "And I love you."

Lance kisses him back, a light touch of lips to Joey's.  "You
deserve more."

"I don't want more."

Lance nods and slowly lets himself be pulled fully into Joey's
hold.

Whatever comes, Joey knows he'll be by Lance's side.  And he'll be
waiting for Lance when he comes home.