Pairing: Lance and JC
Words: jungle; bullet-proof; a cappella; hot


A tenet of faith among the group is that it is not possible to skip
a group meeting.  If you do, Lance will get you.

There's only one allowable excuse, and that's death.  Yours.  Lance
has also made that perfectly clear.

JC does not have a good excuse.

"Lance?"

The silence is total.  You can't maintain a good reign of terror
without instilling fear.

JC rolls his eyes and sits.  He can wait.

Lance swings around in the chair, doing his best attempt at looming
threateningly out of the dark.

"JC," he says.  "How good of you to join us."

"Hi."

"I see you didn't feel like showing up today."

"No, I wanted to show up.  Okay, I *didn't* want to, but I was
trying to."

"And what, pray tell, was more important than being here?  Did some
starving orphans need feeding in another country?  Were you perhaps
in the deepest jungles of Africa and unable to get a signal on your
cell phone?  Or perhaps President Bush asked you to do an impromptu
a-capella version of 'Blowin' Me Up With Your Love'?  Or, no, of
course not.  You were wearing your bullet-proof vest and fighting
crime in downtown Orlando."

"Some girl snuck into my car and pulled a gun on me.  Made me drive
to a church, where the minister was kind enough to call the police. 
You can ask Johnny.  I called his secretary from the chapel."

"You were being held hostage?"

"Yes."

Lance places the call.

JC pretends not to be shaky, terrified, hurt that Lance is calling,
or completely hysterical.

Lance hangs up.  "Well, it appears you're right.  I'm sorry for not
believing you, but an amount of healthy skepticism is important
when you're in a group with the kind of people we're in a group
with.  Are you all right?"

JC says, "Sure, of course."  A door down the hall slams and he's on
his feet in the corner before he can even think.

Lance gets up and approaches him slowly.  "You don't seem all
right."

JC combs his fingers through his hair.  "I'm okay.  I'm... I'm
gonna sit over here, okay?  So, uh.  The meeting can go on or
whatever."

"The meeting's already over," Lance says quietly.  "Don't worry
about it.  I'm more worried about you."

JC wipes his nose on the back of his hand.  It just keeps itching
and feeling all cold and stuff.  "Just a fan.  I'm okay.  Uh.  Can
you tell me what I missed?  At the meeting?"

"You're more important than the meeting," Lance says.  He reaches
out for JC's arm.  "C'mon, sit down.  Let me get you something to
drink."

JC lets himself be seated at the table.  He even drinks whatever it
is Lance puts in front of him.

JC drinks the whiskey like it's milk, with absolutely no reaction. 
Lance is worried.  "You wanna talk about it or something?  Want me
to get someone?"

"About what?"

"How you feel.  You're obviously upset."

"I'm fine.  I'm completely numb.  It's very handy."

"I guess so.  You want me to get you home then?"

JC considers.  "That would be very nice of you.  I'd appreciate
that."

"Good."  Lance is relieved at having something to do.  He puts his
hand under JC's elbow again as he guides him out to the SUV.

JC hangs back as they approach the vehicle.  "Um.  We should have
security look in the windows for us."

"Okay," Lance says, humoring him.  They retreat back inside and
Lance gets someone down to do just that.

JC thanks the guard and tips him after he inspects the car.

"Okay now?"  Lance fastens his seatbelt.

"Yes.  Thank you."  JC hooks his seatbelt, but sits crooked, so he
can see into the back of the SUV.

Lance pats JC's thigh.  "It's all right.  You're safe now."

"Sure, sure I am."

When JC smiles at him, Lance wants to cringe.  Fake happy looks
very obviously wrong on JC's face.

Halfway back to his house, JC cups his hands before his face and
breathes on them.  It's really unseasonably cold for August.

While they're still ten minutes out, Lance realizes that JC's
probably not going to be any more happy about going inside his own
house than he was at going inside Lance's SUV.  "You want me to
call someone, have them check your place out before we go in?"

"No, that's okay."  JC smiles at Lance for thinking of it.  "The
police already did.  There's supposed to be an officer at my place,
too."

"Oh.  That's good.  I'm glad."

"Me too."

Lance doesn't know what else to say, since JC doesn't seem to want
to talk.  When they pull in, there is as promised a police car out
front as well as several other familiar looking cars.  "I think
maybe the others heard."

"Could be.  Just pull in to the garage, if you want."

Lance nods and does as told.

JC walks very quickly from the car to the house door, unlocking it
and stepping inside before waiting for Lance.

Lance smiles at him and closes the door behind him.  "Thanks," he
says, as shouts come from inside.

"JC!"

"He's back!"

The voices precede the stampede, as the others run in.

JC flinches against Lance's side, looking around wide eyed to make
sure no one he doesn't know is hiding among them.

Lance puts his arm around JC.  "Hey, hey," he says.  "He's been
through an ordeal.  Give him a minute."

Used to obeying the voice of authority, they halt the mad rush, but
there's no real use to trying to prevent them all from hugging JC
and checking him over.

"You all right?" Joey asks.  "Man, when I heard, I just about near
had a heart attack."

"Looks all right," Chris says, looking at Lance.  "Looks like he
managed to get himself some in the mean time.  I hope the girl
wasn't *too* jealous."

Justin just clings.

JC pats Justin's back and clasps hands with Joey and Chris, then
weakly swats at Chris for that last comment.

Lance gives Chris The Look.  Chris sticks out his tongue, but takes
two steps back anyway.

"He's kinda shaky still," Lance says.

"So you brought him home for some good old Bass lovin'?  Way to
go," Chris says.

JC shakes his head.  "Stop it."

Lance was about to say something, but he stops.

Chris looks ashamed.  "Sorry, C."

JC nods.  "It's okay, really.  Just, yeah.  Um.  Sit down?"

"The guy's in the living room," Justin says out of nowhere.  "We
just kinda ran off and left him, but I think he wants to talk to
you."

"Guy?  What guy?  There's a guy?" JC asks, voice steadily rising.

"The C-O-P," Chris says.

"Oh.  Oh, that guy.  Let's go."  JC leads the way into the living
room.  "Hello.  What can I help you with?"

The officer stands up when JC comes in.  "We already have your
statement.  I just thought you'd like to know that the house checks
out.  There's no signs of intrusion, and your security firm says
nothing out of the ordinary's happened today.  Other than that."

JC nods and sighs in relief.  "Um.  How did the girl get into my
garage and my car?"

The officer grimaces.  "She's a neighbor of yours.  Lives a couple
houses over from here.  She, ah, called your security company and
told them she was locked out.  She lives in the area, and I guess
they got confused or she was just that persuasive, because they
gave it to her."

JC is stunned.  "Oh.  Uh.  Thank you, sir."

The officer nods.  "Just doing my job.  Sorry this had to happen to
you, sir."  He shakes JC's hand and leaves.

JC sits down carefully.  He arranges the folds of his khakis and
fusses with the lay of his shirt.

Justin sits down next to him.  Joey heads for the kitchen, and
Chris is already pacing -- the sign of a rant about to happen. 
Lance just stands there, not sure what to do.

"How could they be so stupid?" Chris starts.  "I mean, c'mon.  No
one's *that* moronic.  I'd fire them.  Sue them even maybe.  The
alarm company.  They have a responsibility, damnit."

"I didn't recognize her."

Justin puts his head against JC's shoulder.  Lance thinks maybe
he's as scared as JC -- they're the biggest targets after all.

Chris snorts.  "How are you supposed to know everyone who lives
here?  Hell, you're only here, what?  Six months out of the year,
*maybe*."

"She's my neighbor.  I didn't recognize her.  And her parents are
going to hate me.  I have to testify at the trial.  The publicity
is going to kill us."  JC's breathing faster and faster.

Lance spots the signs of imminent hyperventilation first, and
pushes on JC's back.  "Head down, deep breaths.  You'll be okay. 
This is what we have lawyers for.  It'll be fine."

"I hope they throw the book at her," Chris says.  "It was
kidnapping, by God."

JC leans over, laying his head on Justin's knee.  "Gun possession."

Lance doesn't say what he's thinking which is that, if she's a
minor, it's unlikely.  She's underage, a girl, and JC's a guy.  A
court's likely to take the charge leniently under the
circumstances, unless they push, and pushing would be bad
publicity.

"Total psych job," Chris agrees.

JC sighs.  "She's only eighteen."

Lance comes and sits down on the other end of the couch, lifting
JC's feet into his lap.  "Don't worry.  I'm sure she'll be fine."

Chris' head snaps around.  "Bass, you have got to sort our your
priorities.  *JC*'s the one we're worrying about here."

Lance shrugs, not sure how to say that he thinks JC's more
concerned about the girl than himself.

JC is stretched out between Justin and Lance.  "She's only
eighteen.  We're all stupid at eighteen."

"Hey!" Justin says automatically.

Chris rolls his eyes.  "All except Wonder-Juppy here, that is."

"Jerk," Justin mutters.

JC rolls his eyes.  "You were stupid, too.  It's okay."

"Hah!  I was not," Chris proclaims triumphantly, "and even if I
was, you can't prove it!"

"What do you wanna do about it, JC?" Lance asks.

"I don't know."

"There's only one thing to do about it, el loco Basso," Chris says.

"Yeah.  Whatever JC can live with."

That silences even Chris, who gives Lance a disgusted look and
heads for the kitchen to check on Joey.

JC sighs.  "I don't want her to be able to come after me.  But I
don't want to be the reason her life is ruined when she's only
eighteen."

"If it is, it was her decision," Lance says quietly.

JC takes a deep breath.  "I think I should support the charges."

"If you're sure."

"It's the law.  I don't want to interfere with it, either.  It
exists for a reason."

Lance nods and strokes JC's knee.  Okay then.  That's what we'll
do."

"It's scary," Justin says.  "I mean, who's next?  I wouldn't want
to live here anymore.  I'd move out."

"I don't want to leave my house!"  JC's fingers curl around
Justin's knee.

"Yeah, but it's not safe anymore," Justin says.  "If people get in
once, they can do it again."

"It's as safe as it ever was," Lance says, and leaves the rest
unspoken.

"Hah!  That's Lance-talk for you wouldn't want to live here
either."

JC sighs.  "I *know* it here.  I know my house and how my house is
supposed to sound.  Where can I go?"

"Anywhere," Justin says.  "Any place other than here."

Lance shakes his head.  "Here's just as good as anywhere else,
although you might want to leave for a while.  Stay with one of us
until the publicity dies down a bit."

"I don't know what to do.  You should just tell me what to do."

"Stop missing meetings?" Lance suggests.

JC flinches.  "I'm sorry."

Justin makes a face at Lance.  "Don't be mean to C.  He's had a
rough day."

"It was supposed to be a joke," Lance offers, but it sounds dumb
even to him.

"Yeah, well," Justin says, "it wasn't very funny."

"It was.  I just... I kept thinking, while the minister was saying
the words, just kept thinking, 'They'll be so mad at me for missing
the meeting.'"

Lance flinches.  "Sorry."

"It's kinda funny."  Then JC frowns.  "They brought my car home. 
Someone... can someone go get the envelope off the front seat?"

"I'll go," Lance offers and stands up.  He feels the need to
escape.

JC waits.  Justin pets his hair.  It feels good.  Joey and Chris
wander back in and find seats.  Lance returns.  JC sits up and
opens the envelope.  He sets the certificate of marriage gently on
the coffee table.

"Is that..." Justin picks it up by the edges as though the paper
itself is dangerous, "legal?"

"I'm not sure."

Lance takes it and studies it.  "I'll talk to the lawyers-- JC?"

"My mom is gonna be so mad at me."

Lance's voice is torn between laughter and disbelief.  "Oh, yeah,
I'm sure of it.  I don't think you need to worry about the legality
issue though.  You want to take a look at how you signed this?"

JC looks at the paper more carefully.  Then he blushes.  "Joshua
Scott Chasez Bass," he reads off.

Lance's shoulders shake.  "I really don't think you're going to
have any problems."

"Um.  I think maybe I was a little caught up in the whole unreal
factor?"

"You were in shock," Lance agrees.  He's a little in shock right
now, too.

"Woohoo!  You married the Bass-meister!" Chris shouts.

"I kept thinking what a real wedding should be like."

"I'm fairly sure that a real wedding wouldn't include two men.  Not
in this state anyway."

"What I wanted my wedding to be," JC clarifies.

Lance is fairly sure he's in shock now.  "Your 'real' wedding
includes *me*?"

Chris is already silently grooving in the corner.

Joey has a huge smile on his face.

"Um.  Kinda?  In that way where I end up with that name?"

"Not, like, um, you wanna marry someone else with that name?"

"Um.  No.  I don't actually know anyone by that name who is
currently unmarried.  Other than you."

Chris can't take it anymore.  "In the way where he wants to marry
*you*, dumbfuck!"

"Thanks, Chris," Lance says drily.  There's something about Chris
that just brings him out of shock.  Maybe the expectation of being
smacked by something if he doesn't pay attention.  "That's the way
I like hearing all romantic declarations."

JC flushes and bites his lip.  "Um, well.  I maybe kinda love you
a lot, Lance.  So can I stay with you for a while?"

"Yeah.  Yeah, that'd be good."  Lance looks up at JC and smiles.

"Hold me, Joey," Chris says, and pretends to faint into his arms.

Joey drops him.

JC crawls into Lance's lap.  "Good.  See?  Every cloud *does* have
a silver lining."

"Yeah," Lance says and kisses him.