Pairing: Joey and Chris
Words: beat off; lair; nutcracker; aplomb


Joey had a plan.  It wasn't a particularly good plan, but he
figured that he didn't need a good plan.  He just needed to get
Chris' attention.

Unfortunately, his plan seems to have backfired, as Justin comes
through the room, screeching.  "Dude!  I did *not* put mayonnaise
in your hair, so leave me alone already!" 

Chris races into the room, jumping on Justin and knocking them both
to the floor.  "You liar!  I'm gonna kill you!  Mayonnaise is
probably, like, toxic!  I'm gonna kill you!"

"Um.... Chris," Joey says.

"What?" Chris asks, looking up from tickling Justin with aplomb.

"Not that I'm against what you're doing or anything, but have you
considered that maybe Justin *didn't* do it?"

"Hah!" Justin says, trying to wriggle out from under Chris.  "Told
you it wasn't me!"

Chris pauses looking up at Joey.  "Then who did?"

Joey rolls his eyes.  "Take a wild guess."

Chris releases Justin and takes a punch in the stomach.  Absently
rubbing at it as Justin stomps away, Chris asks, "Why would you do
that?"

Joey shrugs.  "Wanted to get your attention.  Figured that was the
best way to lure you into my lair."

Chris frowns.  "I'm in your lair now."

"Sort of.  You're just kinda sitting there and staring at me,
though."

"Yeah, so?  What did you expect?  For me to beat off for your
enjoyment?"

"No," Joey answers honestly.  "I kinda thought you'd get out a
nutcracker and use it to try to squeeze off my balls.  But, hey. 
It didn't work and you're just randomly pissed, so forget it, okay? 
Dumb idea, I'm sorry, and that's it."

Chris cocks his head.  "I'm *not* pissed, though," he admits.

"You were acting like it, with that 'beat off' comment."

"I like to act."

"So, fine.  You're not pissed.  Forget about it."

"Why did you want me to be pissed off?"

"I don't.  Never mind."

Chris just sits and looks confused and rubs his belly.

Joey gets up and heads for the door.  "So, yeah.  My bad.  Never
happen again."

"Aren't you gonna wash my hair for me?" Chris asks.

"Are your arms broken?" Joey asks, but doesn't leave.  "Did you
forget how to use the shampoo?"

"But I'm not the one who got my hair *dirty*," Chris points out.

"So what makes you think that I'm gonna get it clean for you,
instead of ruining it more?"

"Because then I'd have to get out that nutcracker you mentioned."

"I'm so scared."

Chris nods.  "I've got one of the little ones that looks like a
man."

Joey shakes his head.  "Still not scared.  You're all bark and no
bite."

Chris crawls over to Joey and bites him as hard as he can in the
knee.

"Ouch, damnit.  You were supposed to tackle me and climb all over
me, not bite me you, you little shit."

"My hair is icky.  Clean it, and *then* I'll tackle you," Chris
orders.

Joey frowns down at him.  "That's not the way it's supposed to
work.  It doesn't work that way with you and Justin."

"I'm not going to sleep with Justin, either."

Joey's eyebrows shoot up his forehead, but he gives Chris a hand
up.  "How'd you get there?  I didn't say anything about wanting to
f-- yeah.  That."

"You don't want to?" Chris asks, making his voice all hurt and sad.

"I didn't say that," Joey assures him hastily.

"So you *do* want to," Chris says, smiling.

"Bastard," Joey says, putting his hands on Chris' shoulders and
guiding him back toward the bathroom.

Chris smirks.  He always gets his way in the end.