Pairing: JC and Justin
Words: orbit; sweating; ascend; entity


JC puts the note from Bobbie down. He understands that she's upset
over their break-up, although he isn't quite sure when that
happened. She'd wandered into their orbit, he'd had sex with her,
and then they were 'dating', and now they're not.

He doesn't understand why that means they were a couple or why she
thinks they broke up. They're not having sex anymore, but then, JC
tends to have sex with someone for a while, exhaust that fad and
then move on to someone else.

But Bobbie doesn't seem to get that.

Because the note says, 'Dear Whoever-you-want-to-call-yourself, I'm
sick of you and the way you act. I've been the best girlfriend I
could be, and you haven't even tried to be a good boyfriend. No,
you're a lying cheating asshole and I'm going to make sure everyone
knows it. And no, I'm not talking about the press, so don't bother
siccing the lawyers on me. No love, Bobbie.'

JC's mildly disturbed that she hates him, because he doesn't like
being hated, but really. He didn't do anything. It's just that she
expected things that he never promised.

Justin bumps JC as he passes. "You're standing in the walkway,
man."

JC opens his mouth to protest, but what comes out is, "I'm standing
in the walkway, but I was here first, so fuck off."

Which, yes, is what he was thinking, but he would never have said
that.

Justin nods. "Okay, that's cool."

"Annoying twerp."

"Learned from the best."

JC doesn't want to say anything else. Definitely doesn't want to
keep saying these awful things. But he's still thinking, and his
mouth is already opening again. "Look, if you aren't here for me to
fuck, then go the hell away."

Justin leans against the wall for a long moment. Bobbie dumped you,
didn't she?"

"Yeah, the bitch did. Don't know why the hell she thought we were
dating. She wasn't even a good fuck." JC covers his mouth with his
hands, appalled. He doesn't swear like this. He just doesn't. This
is awful.

Justin looks at JC speculatively. "Actually, I think I'll be going
up to the front now. I was going to stay, but I think you need to
let off some steam before I trust you with my ass."

JC nods frantically, hands still over his mouth. Please, please go
away.

Justin narrows his eyes. "But I'll be there, if you need me."

JC's eyes widen in horror. His lips are moving despite himself.
He's going to say something, and it's going to be something awful.
He sticks his hand in his mouth and bites down.

"Hey!" Justin pries JC's teeth apart and pulls his hand out. "The
most hurtful word is better than you hurting yourself! Knock it
off."

"Goddamnit, you're fucking stupid. If I wanted to talk to you, I
wouldn't've put my hand in my mouth, dumbshit."

"That's what I thought." Justin pats JC on the shoulder and tries
to pass him on the way back to the front of the bus.

JC's mouth opens again, and he sticks his hand back in.

Justin *tries* to pass, but JC won't move and he simply can't get
past. He'd crawl, even, but there's no way. "Okay. You have to
move. I can't get through."

JC backs up. He doesn't want to; there's nothing in the front of
the bus that he needs, but there isn't any other option. Unless he
wants to take his hand out of his mouth. He's afraid that, if does,
he's going to tell Justin to make himself useful by taking his
prima donna ass back to the bunks, stripping and bending and
spreading for a real man to show him what's what.

Justin frowns. "Or I can stay here."

JC shakes his head. He's backed himself into the space between the
table and the kitchenette, leaving enough room for Justin to get
pass.

Justin gets past and out of the way.

JC hurries to the back of the bus and closes himself in his bunk.
What the hell? What's he supposed to do?

Justin watches the door, and worries about JC.

He gets out his cell phone and turns it on to call Bobbie, and then
realizes he doesn't know her phone number. It's not like she was
his girlfriend or anything.

And while he could call people and ask, he's probably going to say
something like, 'What's the bitch's phone number?'

JC drops the phone, pulls his pillow over his head and screams.

Justin worries more.

Panicked, JC thinks. He can just not do interviews. Right. No
interviews, no song introductions, no talking to anyone. Right. He
can do that. They can say he's gone mute. Everyone will believe
that.

All he has to do is keep himself from saying anything. Which so far
he hasn't been able to do, but the alternative is unthinkable.

No problem. Then all he has to do is sing.

JC pulls the pillow off of his face, horrified. What if he can't
sing?

He nearly hyperventilates at the thought, but then it occurs to him
to try.

JC calms himself and then starts singing the first thing that comes
into his head. "You can call me selfish, but all I want is hot
sex."

He sticks the pillow back over his head and whimpers.

Justin's head snaps up. "That's not how it goes!"

JC wonders if apologizing would help. But no. He can't apologize to
Bobbie. He'd say what he meant, and that'd piss Bobbie off more.
Then she might do something even *worse* to him. Like curse his
penis.

Justin waits through four more experiments, JC butchering the
lyrics every time. Then he sighs and stands up and gets naked and
goes to JC's bunk. "Get it out of your system, man. We've got a
show."

When JC feels the bunk sag, he crosses his arms over the pillow.
But then he feels naked skin brush him, and he pulls the pillow
away to look. "Justin?"

"Yes! That's me, good job."

"You're naked. You gonna ride my dick like a good boy?"

"No, but I'll hold still and you can fuck me. I have to dance
later, man, can't wear out my quads."

"Then get up and bend over the bunk." JC still can't believe he's
saying these things, but Justin's going along with it, and that's
just. Whoa.

Justin stands and turns around and wiggles his ass.

JC gets up, feeling a little dazed, and grabs Justin's hips. "Bend
over, bitch."

Justin does, bracing his arms on the bunk opposite JC's.

"Oh, yeah, you want it. Always knew you were begging for it." JC
groans, because he can't control his mouth, not at all. He gets his
fingers inside of Justin's ass instead. "So tight, baby.
Practically virgin. Bet you haven't had much dick. But you loved it
all, didn't you? Little slut."

"Who're you callin' little?" Justin asks dryly.

JC replaces his fingers with his cock and pushes in, hard. "You
calling me small?"

Justin grunts. "Not in body."

JC reaches around for Justin's dick, playing with it. "Not that
small, no. But still on the bottom."

Justin's not really hard yet, but JC's hand is starting to change
that. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"It is bad. It means you're the bitch. You don't see me on the
bottom, do you? I'm fucking you."

"Oh, I'm shaking in my boots. Oh, wait, I'm not wearing boots. I'm
naked, because it was *my* choice to come back here, huh? Wow,
cool."

"Shut the fuck up." JC hates Justin right now. Almost as much as he
hates himself. If he could control his mouth, he could say sweet
things and make Justin want to do this again, but instead his
thoughts are just spilling out of his head as he has them.

"You first."

"I would if I fucking could. Do you think I *want* to be saying
this shit? Oh, hell. Yeah. Squeeze that ass."

Justin reaches back and squeezes JC's ass with both hands. "Will
do."

"Work your ass, damnit. Stop fucking around. You should be grateful
that I'm fucking you at all."

"Well, if you were fucking *me*, instead of just a handy body, I
might be." Justin's not fully hard and he's not getting there
either, which is fine. *He's* not the one in need of a good fuck.

"It's an honor to get fucked by me. I don't fuck just anyone. Don't
know that you're worth fucking twice though. Bobbie was a hot
little bitch at least. Couldn't shut up though."

"Then you should like this, since I keep talking."

"Shut *up*, goddamnit," JC says, fucking Justin harder. He can't
stand the sound of his own voice, and everything Justin says
something, he just has to answer back.

Justin shuts up, just so poor JC can get off. He works his ass as
requested, too.

JC groans as Justin finally shuts up. "So much better when you're
quiet. Yeah, just like that. Fucking wicked ass." He tugs on
Justin's cock, but it's limp in his hand. "Why the hell aren't you
hard? God, I wish I could shut the fuck up. Then I could fuck you
so good you'd be begging for it for months afterward. That's the
way I like it."

Justin hums noncommittally and bats JC's hand away.

"So glad you aren't talking. Just wish you were hard. You should
get off on fucking me. I fuck good."

"Mmhmm."

"Getting close. Still can't fucking shut up," he pants in between
breaths. "Don't wanna talk. Wanna, oh god. Fuck, wanna *come*!" He
does on a near-scream. It's wrenched painfully out of him.

Justin waits. JC collapses over his back, and Justin still waits,
feeling warm breath on his shoulder.

"Good, so good. Thank you. Didn't have to do that, you stupid
moron. Didn't ask for it. Sorry it wasn't any good for you. Wanna
kill Bobbie," JC says, as he pulls away.

Justin turns and sits on the bed. "You doing any better?"

"No," JC says miserably. "Still saying whatever comes into my head.
What a fucking bitch. Never did anything to her other than fuck
her. Didn't deserve this."

"You wanna go again?" Justin offers.

"God, you are a slut.  You didn't even get hard from that and you
want more?  Why don't you go troll for it on the street or
something?"

JC stares at Justin, unable to believe he said that.  He isn't
turned on anymore.  He can't even justify what he said that way. 
He moans and turns to his bunk, flopping down on his stomach, and
dragging his pillow over his head.

"Because it's about what you need, not about what I want."  Justin
kneels by JC's bunk and rubs his back.

Muffled noises come from underneath the pillow.

Justin lays his head on the edge of JC's bunk and keeps rubbing his
back.

JC cautiously pulls the pillow away.  "Don't know why you're being
so nice to me.  I don't deserve it.  I'm an asshole.  Need Bobbie
to make whatever she did go away.  Fucking whore..."  He puts the
pillow back over his head.

"Maybe you just need to say it.  You're so nice most of the time."

More muffled noises, punctuated by swear words.

Justin laughs.

JC rolls over and glares up at Justin.  "Don't fucking laugh at me! 
This isn't funny!"

"Sorry.  I won't do it again."

"And don't be nice.  I don't deserve nice.  I'm a bastard and now
you know it and you should hate me.  I deserve it."

"Whatever.  At least I like you."

"Stupid fucking idiot."

"Yeah, yeah.  I bet you say that to all the boys," Justin says
tiredly.

"Only because I can't control my goddamned mouth.  Please.  Call
Bobbie.  Pay her off.  Kill her.  Give her anything she wants. 
Just make this go away."

Justin finds his phone and calls her.  "She wants you to be sorry. 
Are you sorry yet?"

"Yes, I'm fucking sorry.  I don't fucking well know for what, but
I'm sorry for fucking being alive right now."

"She says that's not what she meant."

"Ask her what she means, dumbshit!"

"She wants you to be really sorry for what you did to her, and it
be sorry you have to know what it was."

"What was it?"

"Uh.  She says you should know."

"I don't fucking know!  I'm an asshole!  I don't know!"

"She says you deceived her."

"I never dated the bitch!  Dating was all her idea.  I just wanted
to fuck her.  I didn't want to be her boyfriend.  The only reason
I let her hang around is because she was a sure thing and Jive
liked me having a date and she wanted to."

"Are you sorry that her feelings got hurt?" Justin asks.

"No, I don't give a fuck about her feelings.  I didn't know cold
bitches like her had feelings."

"Bobbie, JC says he's really, really sorry.  Yeah.  Yeah, he means
it."  Justin listens.  "She accepts your apology."

"I love you, Justin," JC says.  "I love you so completely that--"
and he stops talking.  Mid-sentence.  His mouth is no longer on
auto-pilot.

JC gets off the bunk and flings himself at Justin, wrapping his
arms around Justin's calves and laying his head on Justin's thighs. 
"Thank you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Justin says goodbye to Bobbie and hangs up.  "Um.  You're welcome. 
She says she didn't curse you but she hopes you say something bad
to a interviewer and die a long, slow death."

"B-but..." JC looks up at Justin, confused.  "It went away.  The
having to say whatever I'm thinking thing."

Justin shrugs.  "Dunno."

"Thank you anyway."  JC doesn't release Justin.  "I don't deserve
you being nice to me.  Not after how I treated you.  I'm so sorry."

"It's cool, man.  I knew what I was getting into."  He pats JC's
shoulders.

"You knew?  How did you know?"

"Hello?  You were being all pissy *way* before I came back here
naked."

"But..."  JC shakes his head.  "I don't understand.  Why would you
come back here when I was acting like that?"

"You're my friend."

"But I..." JC bites his lips.  "Justin, I raped you."

Justin laughs.  "I never said no.  I never even wanted to."

"You should have," JC whispers.

"Why?  It didn't hurt me."  At JC's skeptical look, Justin rolls
his eyes.  "It didn't hurt badly or permanently, okay?  Besides, I
know you.  I like you."

JC squeezes his eyes shut.  Justin doesn't understand.  Some part
of JC is screaming obscenities right now.  "I hurt me, too."

Justin leans down and kisses JC softly.  "Then I'm sorry."

JC doesn't turn away from the kiss, because he wants the emotion
behind it too much.  "I'm sorry for me, too."

Justin doesn't know what to say, so he just pets JC and waits.

"I'm not a very nice person.  Inside," JC says finally.

"I think you are."

JC sits back, wrapping his arms around his knees.  He shakes his
head.  "I'm not.  I pretend I am, but I'm not.  The things I
said...  The things that are really in my head are awful.  And. 
And, if things were normal, I would have," he waves his fingers at
Justin without letting go of his knees, "done what I did to you
anyway.  I just wouldn't have said such awful things."

"You'd've fucked me like that, or you'd have had sex with me? 
Wait, don't answer.  It doesn't matter.  I'd have wanted it either
way."

"Why?  Do you like being hurt and degraded?"  JC shudders.  "I hate
knowing that I want to do that.  That those are the things in my
head."

"I don't mind pain, and I kinda like talking dirty.  The only
difference is that I knew you were out of it."

"I don't want that.  I don't," JC says, but it's unconvincing,
because he knows now that he really does.

He always knew.  He just isn't able to hide from it anymore.

"I want that.  Not with the... the hate behind it, but the actions,
the words.  It would have turned me on."

"I don't know if I can handle knowing.  That I want that."

"I'll help, if there's anything I can do."

JC looks hopeful for a moment, then his mouth twists.  "You want to
have sex with me."

"Yeah?  Yeah.  Wait, was that a question?"

JC laughs hoarsely and lets go of his legs, opening his arms to
Justin.  "At least I won't be alone."

"Nope."  Justin hugs JC tightly.

JC hugs Justin back, just as tightly.  He'll be good to Justin, JC
promises himself.  At least Justin wants what JC is.  JC knows
Bobbie has accomplished this much: JC will never ever inflict
what's inside him on another unknowing person.