Pairing: Lance and Chris
Words: colander; pivot; boyfriend; moon


Lance is said to be the biggest liar of the group.

Chris isn't sure whether that's the truth.  He isn't the guy who
could feel the truth through the soles of his feet -- Dionysus,
Diogenes, something like that -- but he knows that they all lie. 
He can't help knowing, because of his own special 'gift'.

And, in a way, he envies Lance, that smooth bastard.  Who even now
is on the phone, lying his ass off as he breaks up with his latest
boyfriend.  Boy toy, more like.

"But why, Chris?"

Chris winces.  It's eerie listening to Lance break up with someone
with his own name.

"That's not fair, you knew that going in," Lance hisses vehemently.

Ouch.  Another bitter queen then.  Chris gets up and goes to get
something to drink.  If he doesn't now, there won't be any after
Lance gets off the phone.

"Fine, no.  No, fine.  You signed.  No.  I don't think so."  Lance
hangs up with a sigh.

Chris hides the tequila bottle.

"What?"

Chris considers his options.  He can't say 'nothing' or there won't
be anything.  Same with saying there's no tequila.  But telling the
exact truth is sickening and shows a complete lack of imagination
besides.  Even if he doesn't have a choice about it.  "Are you here
to 

Lance glares.  And curses, turning away.  "Fuck it.  No, I'll go."

"Um.  Go where?"

"A-fucking-way, just like everyone seems to want."

"I didn't say that!  I never said I didn't want your company." 
Having effectively wiped Lance's memory of any prior threatened
takeover attempts to FreeLance or A Happy Place, Chris goes for the
booze.  Some people -- i.e., everyone who hasn't tried it -- would
probably think that what Chris has is great.  Chris is utterly and
completely incapable of telling a lie -- because everything he
says, no matter how casually said or how stupid it is -- is the
truth.

Lance looks around.  "What happened?  That time we were dating?" he
asks.

"If you don't remember, it must not have been very good."  The
horrible part about the 'dating' incident, where he'd said that he
and Lance were dating was that Lance had had a crystal clear
conviction that he was Chris's boyfriend.  It would have required
a saint to refuse that.  Chris is just as happy Lance doesn't
remember anything beyond that they were dating at one point and
then mysteriously weren't anymore.  The guys all know he can change
reality with a slip of the tongue, but Lance has never asked him if
it's true or to undo it. 

"Maybe if I knew why you broke up with me -- or did I break up
with..." Lance trails off, because if he can't remember breaking up
with someone, he's a total loser, and mean besides to bring it up.

"Here, have some tequila if you want."  Chris passes him the
bottle.  Lance needs it more than he does right now anyway.

"Okay."

Chris sits down and lets Lance drink.  His is the heavy burden of
deciding whether to 'help' Lance forget about this, make it better
or -- and this would be much more fun, if immoral -- use his powers
for evil and get some nookie out of it.

Lance finishes a good third of the bottle before setting it aside. 
"So.  Since we dated, does that mean you're a designated rebound
guy?"

"Isn't rebounding supposed to take more than five minutes?" Chris
asks, playing hard-to-get.

"I mean, like.  The feel better fuck?  'Cause I sort of feel like
total shit right now, and I'd rather fuck than cry."

"Ohh, that kind of rebound fuck."  Chris wonders if taking his
shirt off now is still considered to be hard-to-get, or if he has
to wait until Lance gets naked first.

"Because, y'know.  I really liked it when you were my boyfriend."

"Did you?"  Chris smiles wistfully.  Unfortunately, while what he
says becomes true, even retroactively, it doesn't mean that the
experiences ever happened.  So Lance has good happy feelings and
Chris has nothing at all.

"Did you like it when I was your boyfriend?" Lance asks.

"Yeah."

"Maybe someday I can be your boyfriend again," Lance says.  Then he
frowns.  "But... then I have to find a rebound guy for before you."

"Plenty of guys'd line up to have you.  In alphabetical order
even."

"Not the Chrises, I think."

Okay.  Definitely being too subtle.  Chris takes off his shirt.

Lance stares.  "I want to lick you."

Chris may be a little tipsy.  He spreads his arms.  "I'm all
yours."

Lance stares.  "Oh, God.  You're mine," he breathes.  What to do
with someone as wonderfully his as Chris?  That's easy.  Lance sets
out to worship Chris and claim him and have Chris claim Lance back
and... anything.  Everything.

It's nice belonging to Lance, Chris decides.  It seems to involve
a lot of licking and sucking and biting, and then there's the being
naked part, which is really nice, and Lance does have the absolute
most suckable cock, although--  "I can't decide which is better,"
he tells Lance.  "Your suckable cock or your fuckable ass."

"Have them both?" Lance suggest before putting his mouth back over
Chris's cock.

"Can't at the same time," Chris says before his brain starts
imagining what would happen if he said it and it started being true
and what would happen then to Lance's beautiful body and... "Turn
around!" Chris says decisively.  "I wanna suck, too!"

Lance shifts easily.  The couch is wonderfully broad.  He's very
glad.

"Mmm," Chris says, fastening on.  "S'good."

"Very," Lance agrees before seriously getting down to getting Chris
off.

Chris is just drunk enough that his responses are dulled.  Of
course, it's not like he couldn't say, 'Poof!  I'm sober!' and have
it be so, but then he wouldn't be able to enjoy the serious
pleasures of Lance's cock, and that'd be a shame.  He loves
cocksucking so much more when he's drunk.

Lance reaches around with a spit-slick finger and starts pushing
into Chris's ass.

Chris spreads his legs and keeps on sucking.

Lance comes before Chris does, but it's only because Chris is good
at everything he tries.  Lance, after a short break, keeps right on
sucking Chris.

Chris relaxes under Lance's ministrations.  "Um, good.  Good. 
You're amazing."

Lance is inspired to try things he's never done before, like
deepthroating and tongue tricks he's only read about.

There's a beauty about giving when the gift of a compliment just
keeps right on giving back to you.  Chris comes and comes and
comes, then rolls over to hold Lance done and lick playfully at
him.  "Thanks.  Good.  Good sex.  Good Lance."

Lance feels all special and warm.  He clambers up Chris's body
until they're face to face.  "You're good."

Chris feels angelic with goodness.  So, in his angelic goodness, he
says, "You're great.  Really great.  You'll get a new boyfriend
right away."

Lance smiles.  "Wanna be my boyfriend?"

Chris is confused.  "I'm yours and I get to be your boyfriend? 
This isn't just some kinda kinky sex game?"

Someone starts pounding on the door.  "Chris, say you'll be my
boyfriend!" Lance says, panic starting to rise.  "Before they get
in."

"What?  Huh?  Why?"

"Because otherwise one of them will be my boyfriend.  You said it. 
And I want you."

Chris nods.  "You don't wanna know what I was thinking.  Do you
wanna be my boyfriend?  If you wanna be my boyfriend, you're my
boyfriend."

The pounding at the door and the voices that had been growing
louder start to fade away.  "Oh, good."

"Izzat a yes?"  Chris gets up to lock the door.

"Yes.  Yes, yes, yes."

"Cool," Chris says, coming back over to the couch.  "You're my
boyfriend."

Lance nods.  "I still kinda feel bad about Chris.  I mean... I
didn't get through the dealing.  Sorry.  I'll get there, just...
little fast.  I'm happy with where this ended up though."  He
beams.

"What was wrong with him?  Other than being named Chris and not
being me?"

"Nothing, really.  Except that he wanted me to pay him."

"Yeah?  For what?"

"For being my boyfriend.  For... for having sex with me, and not
cheating, even though I'm gone a lot.  For having to hide."  Lance
rests his chin on his crossed arms.

"So, just like a girlfriend, but with dick sex?"

"No.  Just like a whore, but I was the one who felt dirty."

"He deserves bad sex for the rest of his life and to only be paid
by nasty wrinkled old people."

"Deserving that?  Really?"

"Why?  What do you think he deserves?"

"I don't know."

"You're not very good at being a bitter ex, you know that?"

"Maybe it's because I don't blame them for leaving me.  I'm not
really a great boyfriend, most of the time."

"You're a good boyfriend.  And a good person.  And really sexy." 
As long as he's going to hell anyway, Chris adds, "And you really
love giving head."

Lance laughs.  "I already really loved giving head.  Now I'm just
amazing at it."

Chris sticks out his tongue.  "Smarty-pants."

Lance looks doubtfully at his pants.  "If those just became
sentient, I'm never wearing them again."

"I meant...  Er.  That sounds like a good idea to me, too."

"Wanna go find a bed?"

"Yes!"

"Good."

Chris giggles.  The guys have asked him occasionally why he doesn't
rule the world.  His answer's always the same -- why bother ruling
the world, when he can have fame, fortune, power and a smorgasbord
of great sex right where he is?